Egyptians in Arizona and Dinosaurs in Africa? What?

Today has been one of the more fascinating days of my life, mind opening, I guess. I will get into that later.

Before I get started on today’s entry, I need to say two things that happened last night after I posted. Firstly, I pulled a comforter off of a shelf next to the ceiling and as I pulled it out, two washcloths fell out. That made me laugh for quite a while, because Ma and I had looked all over Paris for them and couldn’t find any. It still makes me laugh. Then, later, I found a place on the Internet to watch French & Saunders: Still Alive, their final tour, it made me so happy to watch it as I have been waiting for ever to buy it, but I can never find it. I love French & Saunders. Jennifer Saunders is my role model and probably the only one. I don’t have many role models, except for Amy Sedaris, and that is because she is delightful.

Anyway, the day dawned as mundane as ever. I woke up around noon as the NyQuil wore off, so that was annoying as I wanted to wake up earlier. I am finally starting to feel better, now I only have a minor sore throat. When I blew my nose this morning, it looked as if a chunk of my brain fell out and that was revolting. The air is very dry, so I keep boiling pots of water on the stove as I don’t have a humidifier and am way too cheap to buy practical things. I really only ever feel comfortable buying overpriced extravagances that I don’t need.

I warmed up some spaghetti from a few nights ago and caught up on my Craig Ferguson episodes that I found online. I am super jazzed to have found them, that show is the thing that I miss the most about America, well except for Tiger and sensical outlets. I swear, the outlets in Europe are the most retarded part of the entire continent. Well, the British ones are okay, but they are way too big. The rest of Europe have these massive holes in their walls, where you shove two tiny pins as far as you can into the holes until you think it is plugged in. Truly, we should all be thankful for American plugs, they are efficient and well designed.

Anyway, on the show, Craig Ferguson acted like a dinosaur and that made me laugh because Alison and Beatriz always used to do that in High School.

I then decided to run to the school to look for that shirt and ID badge. I checked the school schedule to make sure that they would be open, and the chart said that there was a class going on, so I grabbed my iPod, turned on the Spice Girls and headed for the Metro. I love the Spice Girls. I don’t care how embarrassing that is. I was retardedly happy when they got back together last year for like a month

Well, I rode the overpacked Metro for a little over a half hour to find the school dark and closed. Not even a hint of light radiated through the window panes. I felt really stupid and mad then, so I marched off to the train in the descending cold. People gave me funny looks, but I’m sure that is just because they could hear Wannabe blaring loudly from my ears. The filthy liars…

So when I got back to the apartment after my pointless, and surely illness enhancing journey, I checked my email. My most interesting email of the day was from Mother. She forwarded an article from the Sun (Weekly World News/Enquirer of England, for those of you who don’t know) that described a recent attack on a wind turbine by an octopus shaped UFO. The damage is real, but I don’t know about the UFO part. I believe in them, but that seems too weird. I was, of course, fascinated, because I have always wanted to be abducted by an alien, just so I could have a story to tell when people got bored. Dad claims he saw a UFO once with his mother and I believe him, and I feel left out. Whenever I see strange lights in the field, when I am home, I always get excited until I realize that they are just harvesting. Oh well.

Then I read the comments about the article and one in particular struck me. It said something like this, “And then God said, I now make man and the fossilized remains of prehistoric creatures, coal, and tar.” It made me laugh, and then think. I remember being very irritated in confirmation classes about the place of dinosaurs in the Bible and then laughing at the responses I was given (Man tamed the velociraptor through the love of God, really?). So, I googled “dinosaurs in the Bible” and read an online argument about the possible existence of dinosaurs today. I will tell you now, that I am not as sure as I was before that dinosaurs are extinct.

I was led to a YouTube video that was very interesting. It is a lecture given by Kent Hovind, about a decade ago, about the very subject. I was leery about the whole thing before I started watching, because Kent Hovind is one of those crazy evangelists, but I watched anyway. He made me laugh many times when he said that Satan tempted scientists to say that dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago. Then he talked about how he could sin all he wanted to since Jesus died for him. And how a murder and thinking about a murder are the same thing, and a sin is a sin in God’s eyes, so either way, you are going to Hell. He is rather crazy, but he made some fascinating points that can be looked up without the Jesus filter.

For example, in the middle of Africa, the People’s Republic of the Congo, to be exact, exists a swamp called Likouala Swamp. This swamp is a little bigger than the state of Illinois and only 20% of it has been explored. 80% has never been seen by human eyes! Here, there have been many reports by everybody from locals to government officials to paleontologists that there are living dinosaurs in this swamp. There are more reports every year. The locals call these long-necked modern dinosaurs Mokele-Mbembe. They are nocturnal herbivores and live underwater. There have been many reports of this dinosaur and many other varieties that appear to be stegosauruses. Fascinating, at least to me.

He makes another very interesting point about dragons. The word dinosaur is relatively new, it was coined by Sir Richard Owen in 1841. Before this, they were known by a multitude of things, including dragon. There are literally thousands of legends surrounding the dragon. St. George slaying the dragon amongst many others. In fact, there are medicinal recipes from ancient Europe that call for crushed dragon bone. Long ago, the Emperor of China even had a request to hire a full time dragon feeder. Why would he need one if he didn’t have one?

Did you know that there are myths like the Loch Ness Monster all over the world? Canada is home to several of these beings. There are reported sightings of “Lake Monsters” from every corner of the globe, and they all are surprisingly similar. In fact, these monsters are thought to be direct descendants of the plesiosaur. This is really fascinating to me.


Then as I was researching, I came across an article about earlier visits to America than Leif Ericson. I mean, we all know that idiot Columbus, who brought about the complete extinction of the majestic and advanced cultures of South America, Central America and North America, was not the person who discovered America. It offends me that this notion is still perpetrated when there is enough evidence to prove that the Vikings were here much earlier. But today I learned, that there may have been people here much earlier that that!

All across America, ancient Roman coins have been found. How did they get there? The Romans dropped them when they were here or when people who traded with the Romans dropped them! There are written reports by the Spaniards that tell about how the Chinese and Japanese had been trading with the Californian Indians for ages. Then, there is an article in an Arizona newspaper from 1909, that detailed the discovery of an Egyptian-like tomb in the Grand Canyon being excavated by the Smithsonian. There were hieroglyphics and mummies and everything.

It seems that the Egyptians were all over the place. In Australia, there is a rock wall where a full-sized carving of Anubis is surrounded by ancient hieroglyphics that tell of a ship being lost at sea from Egypt and winding up in the hostile desert of Australia.

All of this may be a steaming pile of crap, even if it is though, it makes me wonder how much we don’t know about our own planet. I mean, we know more about the moon than what lies under our oceans. Who’s to say that there aren’t dinosaurs still alive in Africa? And why was Saint George slaying the dragon just a myth? There is truth behind everything.

Anyway, tomorrow, I need to go buy magnets and try to go visit Edith at the cemetery again, it’s supposed to be 45 degrees, so I don’t think there will be too much danger for ice.


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