LOVE: Boulder Tap House: I don’t drink beer unless I’m in Egypt. For some reason, in Luxor’s scalding hot summers I adore so much, there is nothing quite like […]
God I feel light and free. My skin is cleaning, my anxiety is dissipating, my multiple sclerosis is going into remission, my tanning bed burn is fading, I’m losing inches off my waistline. Life is grand!
Monday: Why don’t you go to your favorite cemetery and randomly research one of the people interred there? I think there’s nowhere more interesting than a cemetery, they’re full of […]
One of my dream jobs is to work at the British Museum. There is not a role I would not happily do there. I would love being a janitor. I would clean displays. I would do, quite literally, anything. It is my great ambition one day to call them an employer. I don’t love London, not by any means, but I love that museum with passion. I have applied innumerable times in the past, but I have received so many polite rejections that I have given that up.
LOVE: Smarties: I, much like Karen Walker on Will & Grace, don’t have an addictive personality. Lol. Well, I usually don’t. I know when to quit and when enough is […]
Those who say that both Hillary and her opponent were equally bad are perplexing to me. I struggle to understand and empathize with their viewpoints. And I think they’re fools. They might not like Clinton, but when you have a choice to choose between somebody who knows what they’re doing and has the cool resolve to lead in a troubled world compared and a hotheaded businessman who singlehandedly keeps the self tanning industry alive, I’m flabbergasted that anybody would struggle making a decision. And when you could literally choose between anybody and somebody who proudly discussed grabbing women by the pussy…how could you make a wrong choice?
Monday: Why don’t you have a witch make you a potion? I mean this with all seriousness, reader. When I was in Mexico City, I bought a tea to soothe […]
When I was finally conscious the next morning, I was really feeling my hair. Back then in March I still had long hair. We were near the end of our […]
The blizzard was not nearly as severe as all the weather forecasters had predicted, but the fact that I had to suffer in this insufferable way was simply too much for me. Forlornly, I made my way to the little cafe in the lobby of the Jane Hotel. I glowered at the freshly painted walls, signed wistfully at the memory of the Café Gitane’s lost nearness, scowled when I was told that they didn’t have an espresso machine, haughtily accepted drip coffee, and took a seat beside the windows whilst waiting for overpriced avocado toast to arrive. I was insufferable. The toast was actually great. I love a seedy bread.
Monday: Why don’t you realize that you will almost assuredly never pay off all of your debt and learn to live with it instead of letting it be a crushing […]