Still I dared to dream. I didn’t dare tell Jessica that we were almost assuredly not getting tickets because she would have had a meltdown and gone into a psychotic and depressive episode that she might never emerge from. So, when I was bizarrely lucky enough to get a code the night before, I was extra nervous. So many didn’t get codes. I did, though. Then the morning came. Ten o’clock came. Reader, I have rarely been more afraid.
I don’t mind aging so much. I joke about it frequently, but I feel as if I was “eighty before I was eighteen.” I was a grumpy old man for the majority of my life. I didn’t do anything terribly exciting or socialize or have a dozen boyfriends or wake up on a riverbank with no memory of getting there. Honestly, I can’t say that I regret that, but there are times when I wonder what I missed out on during the course of my tame youth. I feel younger now than I did back then. I still haven’t woken up on a riverbank, but that’s just fine. I have woken up in five star hotels, so that’s better.
LOVE: Turbans: I don’t remember when my passion for turbans began. It was long before one was wrapped around my head on the Giza plateau when I rode a camel […]
LOVE: The Discovery of King Tut Exhibition @ Putnam Museum: My most used catchphrase is, “Egypt is everywhere!” I usually have this on Instagram and it’s followed by a number of […]
SEPTEMBER: I became passionate about Elvira. She’s a national treasure, and Mistress of the Dark is a masterpiece. I was missing France, so I drank a lot of Perrier Menthes and sulked […]
The middle of the year was hella busy, so get ready for scrolling. MAY: It rained every day, so I could not plant my salad gardens. I was livid. I […]
Writing an annual recap is one of my favorite traditions that I love putting off. I swear that I’m going to procrastinate dying and live forever. I have no interest […]
Monday: Why don’t you go visit your local eye surgeon and chat about implanted contact surgery? I am absolutely obsessed with the idea of getting a contact lens inserted under […]
“SOMEBODY HAS DIED!” This dramatic proclamation was not one I intended to utter Monday afternoon. No. I was putting the finishing touches on my packing organization (something I have elevated to […]
APRIL: For April Fool’s Day, I convinced a ridiculous number of children that I was born without bones. I was giddy. Ma got tickets to see Dancing With the Stars in the […]