Why don’t you remember why you don’t have polio and stop acting like an idiot and get hyped for your Coronavirus vaccine?
Monday: Why don’t you do the humane thing and find a way to pull the plug on Ancient Aliens? It’s so dumb now. Once upon a time I had fun […]
Monday: Why don’t you do exactly what I’m about to say and get a fireplace? I don’t care if you get a gas one or an actual chimney system. If […]
Monday: Why don’t you teach yourself a new skill that isn’t esoteric like a dead language and actually useful like drywalling? I’m a sucker for learning things I really don’t […]
Monday: Why don’t you have your windows replaced and have some of them converted to doors like they do in Europe? (I’ve also seen this occasionally in California, but they’re […]
Monday: Why don’t you stop daydreaming about a project for dozens of years and just do it? Now I’m not the right person to be giving this kind of advice […]
Monday: Why don’t you buy yourself an electric (not gas powered!) power washer and experience the exhilarating and insane sense of control it gives you? You may remember when I […]
Monday: Why don’t you buy environmentally friendly products to soothe your guilty conscious? I’ve never much cared for paper towels, though the convenience is lovely. On a whim, I bought […]
I strolled leisurely back along the unbelievably busy streets. I joked to myself that if you stopped walking, the kinetic energy of the crowd would probably have carried you along as if you were crowd surfing at a concert. Have you ever done that? An absolutely terrifying experience. Not recommended. That’s one of my rules. No crowd surfing, no Fireball, no carnies, no county fairs, and never touch a ukulele. I assure you I have a good reason for that seemingly incoherent string of restrictions. Again, that’s a tale for another time. Might be the opener to my memoir someday.
Monday: Why don’t you start intermittent fasting? I use to be a militant calorie counter because it worked wonders, but I soon became exhausted of the constant calculations and the […]