Monday: Why don’t you clean a room so thoroughly that it startles you? You feel so at peace when your heart races at the sight of what appears to be […]
Monday: Why don’t you stop daydreaming about a project for dozens of years and just do it? Now I’m not the right person to be giving this kind of advice […]
Monday: Why don’t you pray for me? It’s been announced that my favorite show of all time is returning. La Reina del Sur is coming back for a third season, […]
If somehow I’ve failed to make you aware, I have Multiple Sclerosis. (Don’t you wish English was like German and just capitalized everything? I do. I never know if I’m […]
Why don’t you knife a tire as a form of stress relief? I don’t know if life is like it is in the movies for you, but I have never been in a situation where I needed to exact revenge on a foe by slashing their tires. But life is so varied these days, maybe it’s normal for you. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I have a junk car in my yard that needs disposed of, so I suggested to my sister that we slash the tires for a laugh and to reduce her incredibly high stress levels. Let me tell you, reader, it takes a bit more force than you think, but it’s a supremely satisfying thing to do. The hiss of the air rushing out makes you feel like you’re in a gang. Highly recommended.
Monday: Why don’t you buy yourself an electric (not gas powered!) power washer and experience the exhilarating and insane sense of control it gives you? You may remember when I […]
Monday: Why don’t you buy environmentally friendly products to soothe your guilty conscious? I’ve never much cared for paper towels, though the convenience is lovely. On a whim, I bought […]
I strolled leisurely back along the unbelievably busy streets. I joked to myself that if you stopped walking, the kinetic energy of the crowd would probably have carried you along as if you were crowd surfing at a concert. Have you ever done that? An absolutely terrifying experience. Not recommended. That’s one of my rules. No crowd surfing, no Fireball, no carnies, no county fairs, and never touch a ukulele. I assure you I have a good reason for that seemingly incoherent string of restrictions. Again, that’s a tale for another time. Might be the opener to my memoir someday.
Monday: Why don’t you watch National Geographic’s exceptional miniseries Kingdom of the Mummies? It follows Egyptologists Dr. Ramadan Hussein and Dr. Salima Ikram (who I adore) as they excavate an […]
Monday: Why don’t you start intermittent fasting? I use to be a militant calorie counter because it worked wonders, but I soon became exhausted of the constant calculations and the […]