Monday: Why don’t you get driving gloves for the lawn mower? You know, like my never-met-idol Karl lagerfeld always wore? They truly make it more comfortable to drive the bumpy […]
Monday: Why don’t you stop, drop, (ROCK STEADY), and roll, and listen to everything that Aretha Franklin has ever done? I don’t recall the chain of links (see what I […]
Monday: Why don’t you see if the library of your favorite deceased author is up for sale, scour through the offerings, and then serendipitously buy her personal copy of your […]
Cuernavaca, I realized, walking across the bridge with my fabulous black leather bag with the black leather fringe, was a fantasy. I knew that I loved it — we vibed immediately — and I knew that I never wanted to ever lose the dreamy feeling I had looking at the pastel buildings, the wonderfully old Spanish palace with a Starbucks hovering nearby, the cactuses with their flesh etched and scarred with lovers’ initials, the glorious hills, the sky, the flowers, those whitewashed walls that reflected the brilliant light, that perfect eternal second standing in the Museo Robert Brady, oh just all of it. It’s divine!
Why don’t you knife a tire as a form of stress relief? I don’t know if life is like it is in the movies for you, but I have never been in a situation where I needed to exact revenge on a foe by slashing their tires. But life is so varied these days, maybe it’s normal for you. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I have a junk car in my yard that needs disposed of, so I suggested to my sister that we slash the tires for a laugh and to reduce her incredibly high stress levels. Let me tell you, reader, it takes a bit more force than you think, but it’s a supremely satisfying thing to do. The hiss of the air rushing out makes you feel like you’re in a gang. Highly recommended.
Monday: Why don’t you use the stale tortillas in your fridge to make chips instead of throwing them out? I know this is going to come as a shock, but […]
New Year’s Eve is the only holiday that feels truly worth going all out for. I love the specificity of midnight, I relish the idea of reflecting on the good memories and preparing for better ones to come, and I thrive on the suggestion of reinvention. Each new year, though it truly means nothing, is an opportunity to try something new, learn, broaden, and seek. We don’t have to make resolutions, and I’m particularly opposed to resolutions, but we always have an opportunity to cheekily say, “New year, new me.”
If I die and I don’t have a doctorate in Egyptology, look like Joan Rivers, and was not in some way connected with a telenovela, please let everybody at my wake know that I lived in vain and that they must work hard to do better than I did. Life goes by so very quickly, reader.
Monday:Why don’t you go out and do something about the burning Amazon? I won’t deny that I don’t feel as emotionally shattered by this blaze as I did by Notre […]
Monday: Why don’t you do extensive research on something you know absolutely nothing about? I don’t even know how I got there, but I spent hours researching hydroponic gardening yesterday. […]