Monday: Why don’t you read more autobiographies? These are unequivocally my favorite genre. Nothing satisfies me more than somebody telling the story of their own life—whatever it means to them. […]
Monday: Why don’t you spend a day in complete and glorious silence like one of the stricter monastic orders? I’m recovering from my second round of the vaccine (!!!) and […]
Monday: Why don’t you create a private park in your yard? Now, this suggestion obviously has prerequisites, but by all means turn your balcony into a park. Turn your living […]
Monday: Why don’t you do the humane thing and find a way to pull the plug on Ancient Aliens? It’s so dumb now. Once upon a time I had fun […]
Monday: Why don’t you have your windows replaced and have some of them converted to doors like they do in Europe? (I’ve also seen this occasionally in California, but they’re […]
Monday: Why don’t you stop daydreaming about a project for dozens of years and just do it? Now I’m not the right person to be giving this kind of advice […]
Why don’t you knife a tire as a form of stress relief? I don’t know if life is like it is in the movies for you, but I have never been in a situation where I needed to exact revenge on a foe by slashing their tires. But life is so varied these days, maybe it’s normal for you. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I have a junk car in my yard that needs disposed of, so I suggested to my sister that we slash the tires for a laugh and to reduce her incredibly high stress levels. Let me tell you, reader, it takes a bit more force than you think, but it’s a supremely satisfying thing to do. The hiss of the air rushing out makes you feel like you’re in a gang. Highly recommended.
Monday: Why don’t you buy environmentally friendly products to soothe your guilty conscious? I’ve never much cared for paper towels, though the convenience is lovely. On a whim, I bought […]
I entered what I can only describe as an old abandoned asylum. There were no people there. There were no sounds aside from the humming of the lights. There was an overwhelming foreboding of something gone wrong. I simply assumed that I had entered from the back and would soon find the rest of the caucus. I was wrong and I realized this is why people always die in horror movies. It is so easy to make a dumb mistake.
Monday: Why don’t you build on last week’s advice and experiment with other culinary delights than your usuals? Today my mission is to make David Lebovitz’s pink grapefruit marmelade that […]