Monday: Why don’t you buy those fabulous Keurig pods from Starbucks that have twice the amount of caffeine in them? I have long been opposed to these pods, even though […]
I feel that I have steered myself through life using my own thoughts, instead of the divine guidance of a deity. Probably why I never became a monk, even though I’ve considered it with regularity. I think if there had been a few simple changes in my early life I would be living in a monastery right now, never experiencing the world, never learning about the great and glorious cultures that have risen and fallen and continue to grow, never setting foot on new continents, never eating grasshoppers or good French baguettes. And I get the hideous feeling in the back of my mind that were I a monk, I would be utterly and perfectly content.
I don’t care how beautiful you think puffy piles of crystalline snow are. I don’t care about your cozy sweaters and your hot tea and your crackling fires. I don’t care about skiing or or parkas or that Scandinavian concept of Hygge that all the hipsters and wine moms have adopted. I don’t want anything to do with it. To me, as I’m sure you know, winter is a hellish misery of frozen doors and chilled fingers and darkness and eternal misery.
I sat in the courtyard with my churros, a bottle of tequila, and a bag of cat treats. Patron and Little Chiffon were laying beside me and then the church bell tolled midnight. I took a shot of that deliciously cheap tequila and petted the kittens and then all of a sudden I was 28.
When I was finally conscious the next morning, I was really feeling my hair. Back then in March I still had long hair. We were near the end of our […]
The blizzard was not nearly as severe as all the weather forecasters had predicted, but the fact that I had to suffer in this insufferable way was simply too much for me. Forlornly, I made my way to the little cafe in the lobby of the Jane Hotel. I glowered at the freshly painted walls, signed wistfully at the memory of the Café Gitane’s lost nearness, scowled when I was told that they didn’t have an espresso machine, haughtily accepted drip coffee, and took a seat beside the windows whilst waiting for overpriced avocado toast to arrive. I was insufferable. The toast was actually great. I love a seedy bread.
Monday: Why don’t you gather a highbrow magazine and sit down and read it cover to cover? I just finished reading the March issue of National Geographic and learned so […]
Monday: Why don’t you buy unreasonably cheap red wine at ALDI’s and then let it breathe and be blown away by the transformation it undergoes? I’m already absurdly delighted at how […]
LOVE: Salts: One of my favorite gifts that I received for Christmas this year was a set of salts from around the world. I didn’t think I’d love it […]
As can be expected, I was up later than I hoped. I had dreamed of springing out of bed and getting to the Neues Museum as the doors opened. Wasn’t […]