MEXICO CITY: I Love My Mummies

I sat in the courtyard with my churros, a bottle of tequila, and a bag of cat treats. Patron and Little Chiffon were laying beside me and then the church bell tolled midnight. I took a shot of that deliciously cheap tequila and petted the kittens and then all of a sudden I was 28.

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MEXICO CITY: The Many Blessings of the Olive Garden

I rounded the corner and there she was before me, the green light of the Olive Garden sign washed over me and I felt as if I were a pilgrim arriving in the holiest spot in all the world. I was giddy with excitement reader, and I veritably rushed for the escalator that would lead up to the doors of the blessed restaurant. 

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NEW YORK CITY: Theatre Queens

I was in Villefranche. I was in Paris. I was at home. I was walking through Los Angeles. I was thriving and having something of a spiritual moment as the music washed over me. My eyes got all watery — probably some kind of allergic reaction to the curtains, you know? — and it was magic. I always forget how profound an impact music and stories make on us. This one has been in my life for so many years, and I had grown accustomed to the idea of never having this chance. So to be in that audience having this rare opportunity was a delirious delight. I did not take it lightly at all. 

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Let’s Bring Back…

[Advance warning: this is a long one. Also, support my hypothetical gubernatorial campaign!] I was born at the wrong time. I’ve always known this. I long for the olden days […]

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Spontaneous Chicago: Part 2 – The Comfort of Wealth

I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to see hipsters again as I was then. Hipsters and gays and fashionistas and rich bitches with faces so full of poison they’re […]

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