WHY DON’T YOU? #229
Monday: Why don’t you spend some time cleaning up your yard? I’m not talking about trash or a dishwasher on the curb you can’t get rid of. I’m talking landscaping. […]
Category Archives: Disney
Buying Heroin with Mickey and Kris Jenner
Jessica was thrilled as ever to be going to Disneyland. After all these years, I still don’t understand where she finds the energy for her enthusiasm. She can’t be bothered […]
Why Don’t You? #34
Monday: Why don’t you write a complaint letter to the writers of Saturday Night Live and demand that they stop putting a game show skit in EVERY EPISODE? I’m so […]
“Sir, the restaurant is on fire!”
I could not be bothered to wake up for breakfast. It was way more important to get my sleep, as you well know. So, I stayed in bed for an […]
Things I Loved/Hated This Week #32
LOVE: Coke Points: I don’t drink soda pop and would never consider doing so. Gross. The only carbonated beverages that come near my lips are: champagne, gin and tonic, and […]
Florida Escape Day 5
I woke easily and early this morning with a choked sob. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to go back home to the cold and snow and ice […]
Florida Escape Day 4
I woke easily and early this morning which was odd because I am not a morning person at all. I loathe mornings and don’t believe it’s right to be conscious […]
Florida Escape Day 3
There were thunderstorms this morning, which woke me up several times. I never wake up to anything, so they must have been rather strong. I’ve been a light sleeper on […]
Florida Escape Day 2
I should really buy a bed. Oh God, I sound homeless. Let me rephrase that. I should buy a new bed. I have a bed, I just hate it. I […]
Florida Escape Day 1
I’m in an airplane right now typing this blog on my iPad. I love living in the future, but as much as this is the futurist future there has ever […]
Benjamin Phillips 