I sat in the courtyard with my churros, a bottle of tequila, and a bag of cat treats. Patron and Little Chiffon were laying beside me and then the church bell tolled midnight. I took a shot of that deliciously cheap tequila and petted the kittens and then all of a sudden I was 28.
Monday: Why don’t you water all of your houseplants with coffee you didn’t finish? I’m not the world’s greatest horticulturist, but I have plants in almost every room of my […]
Monday: Why don’t you start each day with a mimosa? If I didn’t work in public education, I’d take my own advice. I had the past week off, so I […]
The real triumph, though, was a box of chocolate by a brand called Merci. Reader…oh my dear and darling readers. These little bars of chocolate are extraordinary. Truly, they taste like they came out of a fine chocolate shop in the middle of a little village in Switzerland. I can’t believe I can pick them up at a budget grocery store in the middle of the state in the middle of the country. We live in truly blessed times. The box that I picked up had several flavors, but the one stuffed with dark chocolate mousse was the best. I cackled merrily as I sat in bed eating chocolates and watching the Kardashians. I was getting fatter, getting nothing done, and doing no good for my workload, but I was living the definition of my very best life.
Monday: Why don’t you get to the cinema and see Coco, the new masterpiece by Disney and Pixar? I saw it this weekend and was delighted by the gorgeous animation, […]
Monday: Why don’t you pick something up at the grocery store that frightens you? All my long life, I have disliked peppers. Nothing could convince me that they were worth […]
Monday: Why don’t you adopt the trend that I started (and Kourtney Kardashian ripped off from me) and wear pajamas as fashion? I’ve been doing this for years and regularly […]
Monday: Why don’t you schedule your day to ensure you receive eight hours of sleep? I’m laughing at myself for writing this because I literally never do. But last night, […]
Monday: Why don’t you whip up dozens of soups and store them in the freezer? Now that September is here, autumn has arrived in my mind, and now I crave […]
Monday: Why don’t you buy yourself a uniform? I know that I have written about this at least twice, but I never follow my own advice, and I still think […]