WE HAD BEEN POISONED!
Now, don’t get too excited, it wasn’t like we had been exposed to a toxic nerve agent by a Russian spy, though had that occurred I wouldn’t be terribly surprised. I have talked a lot of shit about Putin’s girlfriend, Donald.
Mexican pharmacies are full of delightful diet pills. I can’t wait to try them this summer when I’m there for two months. I’m going to be so thin. And I’d much rather take a potentially risky pill than diet or exercise. I hate exercise with a passion.
Monday: Why don’t you schedule your day to ensure you receive eight hours of sleep? I’m laughing at myself for writing this because I literally never do. But last night, […]
LOVE: Elvira: People don’t give her the credit she deserves, but Elvira is a hugely important cultural icon. She’s always been a part of my conscious, but I don’t know […]
Monday: Why don’t you spend some time going through social media and deleting people and groups that don’t bring you happiness? I was appalled the other day when I saw […]
LOVE: Instagram Maps: I never realized that there was a map feature on Instagram that shows where you take all of your pictures. What a marvelous thing! It doesn’t simply […]
Monday: Why don’t you pick out your very favorite article of clothing and buy five of the exact same thing? I am absolutely obsessed with this leopard print shirt that […]
Monday: Why don’t you trade in all of your old Apple products and use the gift certificate you receive in return for something shiny and new? I sent in my […]
I have had a hangover once in my life. It was not pretty. I vomited out of my window and it plastered the side of my house… The rest of […]
Monday: Why don’t you put aside some money to invest in the stock market? I don’t have any stocks, well maybe I do. I really don’t know. Either way, I […]
