Monday: Why don’t you start a dream journal? In my early 20s, I’d scribble out my dreams each morning with more dedication than I’ve ever shown to anything before […]
You can leisurely fill in your choices whilst sipping on a good gin martini while wearing a silky bathrobe and letting your expensive facial moisturizers sink in. Absentee ballots have made voting the simplest thing in the absolute world. I can’t believe that we live in a nation where such a thing is possible but so few people actually use their vote. It’s absurd really. Election Day should obviously be a national holiday so that everybody can go to the polls, but when we all have the miraculous mail, we can just vote from bed. And isn’t that what we all truly want?
Monday: Why don’t you set up a little office in your basement in case you unexpectedly have to spend a few hours down there as a tornado blows past you? […]
Cairo was not one of my favorite places. I can’t even pretend that it was. I found the place chaotic and fascinating, but when I was there for a week, I failed to develop any irrational passion for the city. Luxor and Paris and Turin and Mexico City and Los Angeles, well, those were all different. I immediately loved them, oftentimes for no reason, often for the way they made me feel. Cairo made me feel vulnerable and foolish at first. I didn’t understand the city, and I can’t claim that I do now.
Monday: Why don’t you sell a kidney on the black market for some extra cash? I don’t really intend on doing this, but I’m curious if I could be a […]
LOVE: Acupuncture: I do not understand how acupuncture works. I mean I get it theoretically. Extraordinarily thin needles are inserted into your skin which leads to an increase in […]
WE HAD BEEN POISONED!
Now, don’t get too excited, it wasn’t like we had been exposed to a toxic nerve agent by a Russian spy, though had that occurred I wouldn’t be terribly surprised. I have talked a lot of shit about Putin’s girlfriend, Donald.
Monday: Why don’t you get the latest surgery I’m obsessed over? It’s called MiraDry and it uses microwave rays to decimate the sweat glands in your armpits. Isn’t it wonderful […]
Jessica and I haunted the hottest gay club, which turned out to be the movie theater at Reforma 222. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know the answer. We were at the movies at least every other day it seemed. The first one we sat down and saw was something called Crucifixion. This drew our attention for very different reasons. Jessica loves a horror film and I love a Romanian hay farmer.
Monday: Why don’t you try alternative medicine for whatever ails you in the chance that it might work? I mentioned before that I’m having some absolutely awful shoulder pain, and […]