Monday: Why don’t you use the stale tortillas in your fridge to make chips instead of throwing them out? I know this is going to come as a shock, but […]
The theme of this year’s gala was CAMP, and I don’t think I could have been more excited. Unlike the straights, I know that camp does not refer to gallivanting around the woods with a tent and a s’more, camp is an aesthetic that is near and dear to my heart. It is a celebration of excess and decadence and of the absurd. I know I’m camp. When I wear my silk florals and golden boots and ridiculous glasses, I’m part of the camp aesthetic.
LOVE: La Llorona: Guys, I loved this movie in an absurd way. It’s not going to win any awards. It’s not ever going to be nominated for any awards. Nobody […]
The other day, I was with my friend Jose and we were in the automotive aisle. I’d never been there before. It’s fascinating. You can buy steering wheel covers and wipes that keep your glass from fogging over and even little tubes of paint. I had an unexpectedly delightful time. I bought myself a little air pump so that I could fill the tire back up when I need to. And by me, I mean somebody else.
Monday: Why don’t you check yourself before you wreck yourself and never EVER tell me what to do? I’m a grown adult. I don’t need idiotic advice no matter how […]
Monday: Why don’t you get yourself a delicious and wonderfully unhealthy snack? I’m actively trying not to eat a bag of kettle chips every day. Instead, I’m eating like two […]
I don’t have a complaint in the world. I love the new keyboard and the gold and the GOLD and the gorgeous screen and the gold and the loud speakers and everything and the gold. I’m so happy and so pleased with myself. I love a bargain. I was going to buy one regardless, so I’m feeling truly blessed.
Monday: Why don’t you have your DNA analyzed? I know we’ve discussed this before, but it’s been such fun. Many people aren’t completely sold on the science yet and different […]
Monday: Why don’t you spend a day in complete and absolute silence? There are few things rarer than the blissful glory of utter quiet. All day, every day, we have […]
We went to Planet Fitness and one of the employees took us on a tour. She showed us all the exercise equipment which we politely nodded at, but she quickly became disgusted with us after she asked what our fitness goals were. “To be tan,” I replied, quite seriously. She scoffed somewhat but controlled her rage and gave us the tour of the massage chairs, tanning beds, and body vibrator things. This looked delightful so we signed up at once.