Things I Loved/Hated This Week #22


Hair Lightening Spray:


Because winter won’t leave, I’ve been rather blue. I don’t operate well in these conditions, as I’m sure I’ve bored you by saying so a thousand times. I love being outdoors and in the sun. I can’t, of course, right now, so I do the next best thing. I use fake tanning lotion, I whiten my teeth, I sit by a sunlight, and now I use a hair lightening spray. I’ve always had a fascination with hair color, but have only very rarely done anything. A few years ago, I died my hair blonde, and that was fun, but I didn’t care for the constant upkeep and my eyebrows never looked right. I kind of want to do it again, but I’ll hold up on that until my future modeling agency tells me what to do. The other day at Walmart, I saw this bottle of what seemed to be lemon juice and a dozen other chemicals that you spray into your hair and then blow dry. Slowly, it pulls the color out of your hair. It was only like four dollars, so I had to give it a try. The kids I work with noticed the results before I did, and they cannot stop asking me if I dyed my hair. It’s pretty neat. I had dark brown hair when I started, perfectly lovely, my favorite hair color even, but hair is hair and it’s always going to grow back, so why not play a little? It’s a lighter brown now with reddish tones. Not ugly by any means but different from normal. I’m going to spritz and spritz and spritz and see how light I can go. It’s fun.

Apple Magic Trackpad:


I completed my television-computer system this weekend when my damaged Magic Trackpad arrived in the mail. When this device first came out, I thought it was one of the stupidest things I had ever seen. I often think that about Apple’s products. Example: iPad. I thought it was idiotic when it first came out, what was with that name? It said pad! Of course, I got over it. Then when they started doing their computers in silver with black bezels, I thought it was hideous. Now I love it. I loved the MacBook Air on first sight and it disappointed me, so my Apple vision is not great. When I first hooked my laptop to the television, I used this app on my iPod to control the curser. It worked fine, but it was very far from perfect, so I found a slightly damaged trackpad on eBay for a little under half price. Winning! It has a little chip in the corner, but works fine. Works for me! I am absolutely in love with it. The era of mice is over. It’s all about touch! It’s so wonderfully natural and elegant and works so well. I need to put together a lap desk so that I never have to leave my couch again!

Weighing Less Than 160 Pounds:


[This picture is hilarious. I am obsessed with it.]

I weigh myself ever day when I wake up, it’s good to keep track of just how fat you’re becoming, or how much you’ve wasted away (preferably). I’ve been lazy lately and have gained a few pounds. I mean a few quite literally, I gained three pounds. It’s been dreadful. I’ve felt like an obese slug. This week, though, I’ve been doing much better about exercising regularly and I’m back below 160 pounds. What joy it brings me! This morning I weighed 158.4 pounds and couldn’t have been happier. I’m not sure if it’s actually something physical, it’s surely not, but when I weigh less than 160, I feel light as a feather–I could do ballet, I feel fit and healthy and wonderfully thin. I don’t need to lose any more weight, but I’m trying to burn off a bit of residual fat so that my abs will appear. I’m sure they’re in great conditions with all the exercises I do, they just need to be exposed. So, once I get rid of that fat–I’m guessing ten pounds or so–I can stay around my ideal weight with my abs and the world will be a happy place. World peace is having abs, just so you know.

Breakfast Nooks:


I effing love breakfast nooks. I’ve never had one, I don’t think I’ve ever sat in one, but I’m obsessed with the idea of them. A cozy little niche to have a croissant and espresso and orange juice and cereal and grapefruit and some cheese–oh it sounds divine! I’m a big fan of big breakfasts, even though I don’t partake in them. I loved having breakfast at this lovely house I stayed at in London. They had everything, I’ve never seen so many varieties of jam! The cheese tray was excellent–I still think about it a lot. The cheese tray is one of the fondest memories I have of London–that and seeing the BBC Studios and seeing the Petrie Museum. I just love London! I need to go back and stalk Joanna Lumley, Jennifer Saunders, and Tom Daley.


What fun! Speaking of that excellent expression, I’m adding Miranda Hart to my stalking list. I must have photos and autographs! But back to breakfast nooks. When I have my own house or penthouse or cottage on the beach, a breakfast nook is an absolute must. It will have a thick wooden table top, with a big window, booth style seating, lovely wallpaper, fresh flowers, and an espresso machine. (Also an outlet with a USB port.) I’ll spend my life there. This one will work, too.


Prohibition Chic Realness. #totesamaze

Roasted Garlic:


I am so happy that my mother and sister fell ill with pink eye! Because of this they had to go to the doctor in Des Moines, and because of this they went to Whole Foods to build me one of those wonderful, but ridiculously overpriced salads. I love those salads so! If I lived in town, I would have my lunch there every day and when I eventually find myself living in Sarasota, I will do so. I will also eat at C’est La Vie and The Columbia House and I’ll obviously cook for myself, too, but that salad will build my diet! This one had spinach, onions, feta, Parmesan, roasted garlic, beets, marinated mushrooms, olive oil, quinoa, and more that I’ve already forgotten. It was wondrous. I ate it all. The highlights were the beets and garlic. I don’t know what’s happened to me, but beets are freaking amazing. I could eat beets all day long. The roasted garlic, though, was wonderful. I could eat those delicious cloves like candy. I think I’m going to start roasting my own to keep in the refrigerator to pop into everything that I cook. Garlic is amazing to begin with, but when it’s roasted, it’s sweet and rich and unbelievably good. I don’t know how many were in the salad, and I’m sure my breath was dreadful and the fumes were wafting out of my pores, but I don’t care. It was so good.


Springtime in Paris:

I don’t actually hate springtime in Paris, I love it deeply. I’m only upset because I’m not there. In Iowa, we’re still well within winter’s grasp. It might snow again today, but I’m guessing it will be one of the last times. Spring is coming. It’s been a long time in coming. Winter is so awful here–it lingers and haunts. I can’t wait to go outside again and clean up all the debris from winter. My garden is a disaster. I couldn’t be bothered to tidy it in the fall, I should have, but whatever. It will be a nice workout over spring break if it’s nice enough. Anyway, tomorrow the high is 28. In Paris, it’s 60. I think back fondly on that Spring I spent in Paris. In winter, the city turns grey and shuts down, a comfortable gloom sweeps the city, but on that first warm day, everybody is out and about lounging in the warm breeze, lining up at Berthillon, sitting in the Place des Vosges, croissants and a bottle of wine along the quay. Le sigh… It is a marvelous time and I wish I were there. I’m not and I hate that.

Sensitive Teeth:


My diet is largely comprised of tea, coffee, and grapefruit. Because of this, my teeth were getting a bit yellow so I decided I had better do something about it. I bought a whitening toothpaste, but didn’t really notice much of a difference. My brother started using some Crest Whitestrips and his teeth suddenly looked like they could glow in the dark, so I bought some of them, too. I’m delighted by the results, I’m probably a little over halfway through the treatment and my teeth are remarkably whiter. I couldn’t be happier, but they have made my teeth a bit sensitive, which I’m not nearly as delighted by. It’s nothing horrible, mind you, but there is a definite annoyance when I breathe in sometimes or drink something cold–which honestly isn’t that often. Beauty is pain, though, darlings, and so I don’t mind a bit. When I’m a celebrity, I’ll probably just get a lovely set of veneers anyway, these natural teeth are only temporary. Just wait until I can afford ass implants!

Short Luncheons:


[I want to have my lunch here every day.]

One of my favorite things about France is their dedication to enjoying life. Work is really secondary and not life for these wonderful people. They only have a thirty-five hour work week, have great health care, are almost impossible to fire, live in France, most are thin, and they can hop on a train Marseilles whenever they damn well please. God, I’m jealous of them. Plus they have Monoprix, poppyseed baguettes, the Seine, the Louvre, Karl Lagerfeld, and early Spring. Gah! Anyway, they take food seriously, as do I. Children get a decent length lunch each day with quality food. They can eat things that weren’t popped out of a  box and nuked in a microwave. And even if they did, microwave meals in France are exceptional. Here, I get twenty minutes for lunch. Twenty minutes! People cannot dine in a civilized fashion in under a half hour. I don’t understand the American attitude towards work work work work and more work then die. There’s little time for yourself and you need that. If you don’t, how are you going to love yourself? And if you can’t love yourself, how are you going to love anybody else? Can I get an amen?

Emptying Tea Balls:


Balls! Makes me laugh every time. As a child, I as annoyingly serious and wasn’t any fun. I’m beginning to realize just how much time I wasted being tedious and dull–I could have done things. Alas, I never did. So, now, in my twenties, I have the maturity of a child and can’t help giggle when I get out my tea bags and tea balls. HILARITY! I’ve really taken to loose tea. It could just be the blend of Lady Earl Grey that I have, but it tastes so much more delicious. The only irritating thing about loose tea is that you have to clean out the mesh tea ball (BALL!) when you’re done and you’re never in the mood after you’ve brewed your tea and then the leaves dry inside and stick to the mesh and you have to scratch off some of the stuck on tea. Sigh. It’s exhausting. I also have this thing that looks like a spoon, but it opens up and holds tea. Charming. I know that you can make your own tea bags (HA HA HA!), but that seems wasteful. This is really one of those first world problems, isn’t it?

Not Having Tart Dough In The Freezer:


Back when I wrote my tips for a happy life post, I had written a list to talk about, but then I lost the list. I recently remembered one of my tips that I didn’t include and I can’t believe that I left it off. It’s one of my most important suggestions for enjoying your life: always have tart dough chilling in the freezer, or preferably, refrigerator. It’s so easy to make a quick and wonderful dessert to help you feel good about your existence when all the work is done and you simply have to roll out a chunk of dough and bake it. Plus, if you’re like me and always have a batch of Pierre Hermé’s lemon cream in your refrigerator, it’s so simple to make a first class pastry when you’re feeling down or happy or ill or perfectly fit. Pierre never let’s me down. The tart dough recipe that I use is his, too. God bless Dorie Greenspan for befriending him. (Here’s another blog with the recipe typed out for you!) I need to make a batch this weekend to have on hand. I may even bake a dozen or so tart shells to freeze so that the process becomes even more ridiculously simple. I was lighter than I’ve been in a long time this morning (157.4) and I’m trying not to gorge myself, but a tart will always win. So, to ensure a delightful existence, have some dough in your freezer, tart dough especially, but cookies will do, too, if you’re a peasant.

One response to “Things I Loved/Hated This Week #22

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