Monday:

Why don’t you turn into somebody you never dreamed you’d become and start doing meal prep? I can barely work up the energy to get up in the morning let alone pack up a lunch, so I’ve taken to cooking up a storm on Sunday so that all I have to do is grab a Pyrex container of nibbles and head out the door. It’s really lessened my daily stress and streamlined my morning. Give it a try, it makes it a lot simpler to be healthy. (Of course, I didn’t do this for longer than a week, mind you, and I have returned to bad dietary habits.)

Tuesday:

Why don’t you experiment with sourdough? I’ve only ever made yeast-based bread and have been rather pretentious about it. Don’t ask me why, because in all honesty, like most prejudices, I couldn’t even begin to imagine why I feel so strongly about using yeast. I was a yeast bitch before being trained at Le Cordon Bleu — also yeast bitches — and so I was probably born this way. Anyway; I recently found a sachet of dried sourdough starter from a bakery I vaguely stalked in San Francisco, and I’ve managed to bring it back to life I think. I’ll be able to make my first sourdough loaf next week and I’m scared but also so excited. Broaden your horizons, reader. (UPDATE: lol I killed it, but I don’t think it had a chance. Instead, I ordered some more starter from San Francisco that’s 140 years old and it is THRIVING.)

Wednesday:

Why don’t you find a way to leave a legacy that matters to you? I’m not really as dramatic as this is going to sound, but I have had a wonderful week teaching a unit about ancient Egypt to sixth graders. I hope to spark an interest in at least one of them so that they pursue Egyptology later on in their lives. If just one kid does, I’ll forgive myself for squandering my opportunity to become an excavator in Egypt. They might not remember me in thirty years when they’re digging in Abydos, but I’ll remember them and I’ll be proud.

Thursday:

Why don’t you try a very expensive shot of tequila? There’s a new bar in town where an old friend of mine works and she showed me a bottle of crazy expensive tequila. It’s $20 for a shot, which is more than some bottles of tequila cost, and let me tell you…it was absolutely delicious. You really don’t think about sipping tequila or thinking about really enjoying tequila — you drink tequila for its effects, but this one, which I need to go back and figure out the brand, was amazing. I can’t get over it. Try new things, reader. 

Friday:

Why don’t you buy yourself a few pairs of prescription sunglasses? I don’t know why I didn’t do it earlier since I’m addicted to buying standard eyeglasses on ZenniOptical.com. I introduced the website to a friend, and now we’re both hooked…and my addiction has resumed. I decided to try a pair of their prescription sunglasses and I found a nice shape and spent a little extra to get the lenses tinted gold. Still under $50 for a pair of prescription glasses. Wild. Anyway, this has changed my life. To be able to drive without squinting or forcing myself to wear horrible contacts is a dream come true. Fabulous, my life is starting anew.