Monday:

Why don’t you learn how to sew and fix your own clothing? I had the most annoying thing happen that always happens. I found a pair of pants that fit perfectly, so I grabbed another pair in another color in the exact same size and style. They had nothing in common. I was so annoyed, but I decided I would try to fix them instead of returning them, so I sat down in front of a sewing machine — which I haven’t done in years, and made a new seam so that they were more form fitting. They look custom because they are! Learn how to make minor repairs, reader!

Tuesday:

Why don’t you treat yourself to something you’re always asking for? Every Christmas for the past few years, I have begged for Bombas socks. They’re expensive but they make your feet feel like you are walking on a cloud. Nobody ever gets them for me, so the other day I just rolled my eyes and ordered them to reward myself for making it through another day. They’re here and they are totally worth the money. Nothing is really quite as elegant as a new pair of thick, supportive, endlessly comfortable socks. Treat yourself to little luxuries. You’re worth it. 

Wednesday:

Why don’t you spend a second and reevaluate your priorities? I’m surely not going to follow my own advice, so I don’t know why you should. Still, I’m so stupidly busy all the time that I wonder if I really need to do all the things I feel I need to do. Do I really need to lavishly describe my trips on lengthy blogs? Do I need to drink five liters of water and a specific allotment of calories each day? Do I need to read an archaeological journal every week? Wouldn’t it just be better to focus on my classes and stop procrastinating? I suppose, but would life really be any fun that way? Ignore this suggestion. I’ve already moved on. 

Thursday:

Why don’t you research something you know absolutely nothing about? You don’t have to be a doctor to research medicine. Of course you can’t practice or write prescriptions for people, but you can read all the medical journals you want. Since being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, I have become a junkie for neurological research. I’m now reading and comprehending papers and studies that would have been absolute gibberish years ago. Now I know about more than I’ll ever need to about nerve cells, the blood-brain barrier, myelination, gut bacteria, and transcranial magnetic stimulation. The world is fascinating, get lost in it! (Lol my neurologist and I had a great chat about different medicines today. I was thriving.)

Friday:

Why don’t you sell things that you don’t need anymore? I’m not going to get too deep into this, but I’m not talking about a garage sale. Say you inherited a set of coins or jewelry or a fur coat or a boat, or a bag of golden teeth that embalmers had removed from your ancestors…I’ll tell you that story if I ever get my Netflix original standup comedy special, A Tiny Sack of Human Teeth. If you don’t want something, just get rid of it. Use that money for something else instead of a bunch of crap collecting dust!