Why don’t you make a quarantine resolution? It’s like a New Year’s Resolution except that it doesn’t come with the misery of lasting for the entirety of a year. At least it shouldn’t if we’re all smart and practice social distancing and isolation whenever possible. We know that we are all looking at probably another month at home. Find a realistic goal to accomplish during this time. Unlike Gwyneth Paltrow, you probably won’t be writing a book or learning a new language…but you could paint a room. Or shop online for something you need to make your life better. Or start a garden. There’s so much to do and we have absolutely nothing but time! Or don’t do any of this. You don’t have to do anything.
Why don’t you just do it and cut off all of your hair by yourself? The government hasn’t ordered a full lockdown yet for reasons that defy explanation, but I have been in isolation for seventeen days. I’ve seen maybe three people in person and only through the door. I am not taking chances. That’s irrelevant, though. When I was in the bathtub this morning…afternoon…midday…who knows anymore…I decided that it was simply time for a new look. Well, reader, let me tell you, things could have gone MUCH worse. I put up a ponytail and cut it off then spent an hour shaping it into something that looked acceptable. I’m not mad about the results. It will be wild to hear what my stylist says if I ever get to see her again.
Why don’t you join me in a book club about The Decameron? I’ve always been interested in pestilence, but never really interested in living in the times of one…so I’ve been familiar with plague literature most of my life. That doesn’t mean I’ve ever really read or studied it. Well now is the perfect time! The University of Iowa is doing an online book club where one of the stories from the book is read each day. In The Decameron, wealthy Florentines escape to the countryside to self-isolate while the plague ravages their city. Sound familiar? It’s a fascinating book and one I never expected to be topical ever again. Wild.
Why don’t you listen to the DJ playlist from my favorite hotel in Mexico? I stopped using Spotify years ago, but I recently discovered that it’s free (kind of) and that people put together all sorts of fantastic playlists to share. The people at Las Casas B+B had their DJ assemble a collection of music to enjoy during quarantine and it’s an absolute delight. Just the right vibe. It’s like being back at my little table next to the pool in Cuernavaca. Bliss.
Why don’t you find a way to make my dreams less pedestrian? I know that the most likely explanation of dreams is that they are our brains archiving the various experiences and thoughts that we had during the day. Our subconscious interprets them and we reinterpret them when they are vivid enough. That’s why my dreams have been so irksome and boring and tedious lately. I haven’t left the house in three weeks. I had a dream about being home and it was just as uninteresting as my days have been lately. Sometimes they’re so annoying that I just wake up and stay awake to keep myself away from their dull monotony. I can’t wait for this crisis to be over.