Why don’t you, if you’re healthy and able and have the desire, explore the cultural riches that are being provided for free online during this bizarre moment? I am appalled at the government’s glacial response to COVID-19, but I am unabashedly charmed by the generosity I’ve seen from others. Publishers and museums and archivists are uploading the contents of their collections to the Internet and we, all of us, regardless of our economic power, our academic history, or the circumstances of our geography, are able to share and share alike with the great minds of our time. I’m honored and delighted and better informed because of this pandemic, which only manages to highlight my privilege more uncomfortably. Yet I’m hopeful that this spirit of cultural community continues long after the virus is a distant memory. I would love to live in a society that feverishly supports the arts and values the vitality of human culture.  [Good god that was dramatic.]


Why don’t you figure out your role in our new apocalyptical world? I never really did think I would be living in a dystopian nightmare, but then again, the protagonists in dystopian nightmares never see it coming either. Now that we’re forced to be slightly different, it’s a good time to practice what our new skills will be. Turns out I’ll be a baker of gorgeous sourdough breads, an interior design mentor, a cat whisperer, a social media print comedian, and a culinary influencer. How about you? Share below! It’s not like you have anything better to do right now.


Why don’t you use this rare time away from the public to experiment with clothes you’ve been too timid to wear out in public? Give the back of your closet a time to shine! I have a bad habit of buying everything I see and not maintaining my weight. Therefore I have a wide variety of clothes in a wide variety of fits. I’ve been enjoying wearing some of the pieces that I’d completely forgotten about. It’s wild what you can find when you have absolutely nothing else to do. 


Why don’t you spend the day reading a book? The entire book, mind you. What else are you going to do if you’re healthy and under quarantine? (Also, if somebody had told me in January that I’d be using words like that with this frequency, I wouldn’t have believed it. And let me assure you, dear reader, after 2016, I’m really not surprised by anything.) I made two sort-of quasi resolutions for 2020. One was to learn how to operate a manual transmission in case I ever need to make a getaway in the middle of the Sahara — a legit concern — but I haven’t made progress. The other resolution was to read all of Agatha Christie’s books. I tend to finish one every week. I read two of them yesterday. God bless Poirot and Marple and Tuppence and my Kindle Oasis. Get reading, y’all. 


Why don’t you confess and tell me I’m truly an enormously powerful online influencer? I know I sound insane, but why is there a literal horde of people around the country suddenly watching sourdough starter with loving eyes and experimenting with their own loaves? I’m fairly sure people weren’t randomly doing artisanal baking last month when I suggested taking up the art of sourdough. Clearly I put this energy into the universe. I want FANS. 

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