WHY DON’T YOU? #235

Why don’t you knife a tire as a form of stress relief? I don’t know if life is like it is in the movies for you, but I have never been in a situation where I needed to exact revenge on a foe by slashing their tires. But life is so varied these days, maybe it’s normal for you. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I have a junk car in my yard that needs disposed of, so I suggested to my sister that we slash the tires for a laugh and to reduce her incredibly high stress levels. Let me tell you, reader, it takes a bit more force than you think, but it’s a supremely satisfying thing to do. The hiss of the air rushing out makes you feel like you’re in a gang. Highly recommended.

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THINGS I LOVED/HATED THIS WEEK #219

There is something so tragic about eating with plastic cutlery in a take out bowl. Am I being too ridiculous? I don’t think so. So, I can recommend you getting this food to take out and then plating at home on some more fashionable pieces of tableware with nice millennial gold forks. That’ll be fine. And when you’re at home you can imagine that the waitor at Tucci is back with the block of Parmesan and life is decadent and nothing is bad.

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THINGS I LOVED/HATED THIS WEEK #218

When we watch Eurovision, we don’t want a ballad, we want dwarves on unicycles, hard metal Vikings, explosions, sequins, fire! The more insane the better, and I am thrilled because this year finally amped up the insanity. Let’s watch some of my favorites, first off a vampire youth from the Ukraine!

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