Ever since finding that deal, I’ve had my eyes peeled — what a horrifying expression, I need to look that up. Bear with…bear with…well that was a wild ride. According to linguists, the expression first appeared in American English around 1850 and was derived from a latin word that meant “to pillage.” Over the years, the original spelling became bastardized to “peel” and it meant to remove, which it still kind of does. So, the expression means to remove any covering from the eye, not to literally peel your eye away, which would seem to defeat the purpose. Anyway, back to the main point.
I miss getting into playful Egyptological arguments with scholars over martinis at The Royal Bar. I even miss the touts demanding baksheesh and donkey drivers hollering at me. I miss the filth in the streets and the flies that buzz around the horses. I miss the robes and the heat and the ferry across the Nile. I miss the cacophony of sounds at night when you’d hear honking horns and bellowing camels and the call to prayer. It suited me and I need to get back. Once I get this terrible year behind me, I’m going to treat myself to a glorious return to the sands of Egypt.
LOVE: “From Vienna with Love” by Conchita Wurst: Do you watch Eurovision every year? If you don’t, you are a fool and you are absolutely wasting your life. One of […]
You can leisurely fill in your choices whilst sipping on a good gin martini while wearing a silky bathrobe and letting your expensive facial moisturizers sink in. Absentee ballots have made voting the simplest thing in the absolute world. I can’t believe that we live in a nation where such a thing is possible but so few people actually use their vote. It’s absurd really. Election Day should obviously be a national holiday so that everybody can go to the polls, but when we all have the miraculous mail, we can just vote from bed. And isn’t that what we all truly want?
I have a doozy of a story to share with you today. Martha Stewart is one of the icons in my life that I look up to every single day. If I can ever be a bit more like her, I’ll find a way to do that. Whenever I’m tidying and redoing my house, I’m thinking, what will Martha think when she comes over? It’s absurd, reader. Martha is never coming to my house for lunch, but I terrorize myself into order at the thought of it happening. This has been a commonplace scenario in my mind since the summer of 2008 when I saw my first episode of Martha’s daytime talk show.
Still I dared to dream. I didn’t dare tell Jessica that we were almost assuredly not getting tickets because she would have had a meltdown and gone into a psychotic and depressive episode that she might never emerge from. So, when I was bizarrely lucky enough to get a code the night before, I was extra nervous. So many didn’t get codes. I did, though. Then the morning came. Ten o’clock came. Reader, I have rarely been more afraid.
This will be my last LOVE/HATE posting until probably September. As you surely know, because I talk about it nonstop, I’ll be in Paris next week! Yes, I will be […]
Monday: Why don’t you all investigate the theory that Donald Trump is being paid by wealthy individuals to skew the election in favor of the Democrats? I don’t believe this […]
LOVE: H&M I had this whole fantasy of going on a tremendous shopping spree at the Mall of America yesterday. My arms would be laden with bags from all of […]
I was very inspired when I was reading Joan River’s new book, I Hate Everyone…Starting With Me. Hilarious book. Buy it. Devour it. Great jokes about Anne Frank and celebrities and offensive […]