I feel like a Robber Baron of the Gilded Age as I shout to my lights to turn off and go on and set themselves to ridiculous intensity levels like, “ALEXA! Put the lounge lights at 17%!! Hurry!” Instead of complaining, the lights just go to the requested level and a shot of glee courses directly through my body. It’s like having a household staff that is either made up of ghosts or is so efficient that they are never noticed. And I fully understand how unnecessary it is, truly I do, but I’m never going back. I want to remove the light switches from my house. They’re superfluous now and ugly and I don’t want them bothering my aesthetics!
Monday: Why don’t you get yourself hypnotized so that you can eradicate your proclivity to procrastinate or whatever else ails you? I can’t imagine how much better my life would […]
I’m in an airplane right now typing this blog on my iPad. I love living in the future, but as much as this is the futurist future there has ever […]
LOVE: Ikea Monkey: Gahhhhhhh! Darwin, I love you! The IKEA monkey is the greatest story of all time. You’ve seen the reports, you’ve laughed at the memes, you’ve wondered how […]