Jessica woke up before me, and the shock of this was so total and complete that I was immediately woke. I was suspicious and wary of what was going on, […]
I sat in the courtyard with my churros, a bottle of tequila, and a bag of cat treats. Patron and Little Chiffon were laying beside me and then the church bell tolled midnight. I took a shot of that deliciously cheap tequila and petted the kittens and then all of a sudden I was 28.
In tiny, packed hallways, shoppers crowded around small vendors. Each vendor sold a variation on a similar theme: witchcraft. Santa Muerte glowered down from every surface, that wonderfully evocative patroness of the lost and downtrodden. Since I booked my flight to Mexico, I have been deeply intrigued by this heretical icon. She is revered by many people in Mexico, but the Catholic Church has condemned her worship. She’s skeletal and terrifying and considerably menacing to some. Legend says she will appear in your dreams, answer your prayers with the right gifts, and bring death to your enemies. She’s charming. Santa Muerte is not a truly Catholic image, obviously, instead she is the perpetuation of ancient Aztec religious belief.
I thanked whatever god might be out there that I had the opportunity to see this sight and that my thighs were going to look great after that climb. The golden dome of the old basilica glinted in bright sunshine, the green roof of the new basilica reinforced my comparison to Disney’s Space Mountain, and all over, as far as the eye could see, stretched buildings and homes, boulevards and streets. It was utterly beautiful and my breath was swept away. What a charming nation, what a rich culture, and how lucky I was to be here in this moment to experience it.
When I was finally conscious the next morning, I was really feeling my hair. Back then in March I still had long hair. We were near the end of our […]
Monday: Why don’t you affix a bunch of pictures to a blank wall in a haphazard yet artsy fashion? I was trying to give my office a facelift, so I […]
Holla Flock! Your dearly beloved reverend nearly went to see Beyoncé at the Pearly Gates the other day. I can hear your horrified gasps from here. Well ought you catch […]
Holla Flock, I have been a reverend for about a year now. In that time, I’ve never had the opportunity to baptize a baby, marry a happy couple, or proceed […]
[I’m using this GIF again this week; it applies.] Holla Flock! I have never decided on what I want to be when I grow up — I have good intentions […]
Holla Flock! I have an absolutely thrilling announcement to make tonight. I’m so excited that I can’t bring myself to say it just yet. Let’s play a delightful game and […]