Why don’t you go out and do something about the burning Amazon? I won’t deny that I don’t feel as emotionally shattered by this blaze as I did by Notre Dame, which is not only absurd but shameful. I won’t attempt to defend myself. But as the rainforest fire grows more and more severe, I grow more and more concerned. The Amazon is one of the last unknown places on the planet, and it is full of tremendous diversity of life. And it’s surely loaded with unknown traces of humanity’s past. We are at risk of losing history and losing the trees that create the oxygen that we desperately need. Ugh. Fix it.

Why don’t you figure out a way to create less waste? I have been growing more and more concerned about how much crap I produce on a daily basis. So much trash, and none of it seems to be extraordinary until I see the bin full of plastic wrappers, bottles, and cardboard boxes. I’m going to have to start repurposing and recycling more. It’s shameful. I just can’t help but think of all those microbeads in the ocean every time I brush my teeth.

Why don’t you learn something that freaks you out but will help you out enormously once you understand? I’m spending the day learning all about Google Classroom, an online assignment manager that allows teachers to manage quizzes, writing, share links, and so much more. It’s an amazing resource, but I have always been wary of it. Mainly because I don’t care for the Google suite of apps. They’re free, though, so they are what education is going to use in the future. I can already see the value, though I remain perplexed.

Why don’t you figure out where in the hell the second annual Missouri Egyptological Symposium is being held for me? I read about it one of my archaeology magazines and I haven’t stopped screeching about it ever since. Can you imagine, reader? An Egyptological conference in the state next to me in a couple months! I can’t get over it. BUT I CAN FIND NO DETAILS ANYWHERE. All I can find is that it’s being held on October 19. That’s it. How are lunatics like me supposed to get there?

Why don’t you find an architecture student who needs to do a project for school and will do it for me for free? I need designs for a villa that will someday be constructed either in Mexico or Egypt. It is to be the lovechild of the Chateau Marmont, the Museo de el Carmen, and the Palazzo Daniele. Essentials are a courtyard with a fountain or a well and a decadent sense of decay. It’s where I’ll retire someday.

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