Monday:
Why don’t you spend the weekend binge watching British comedy on Netflix? Over the Labor Day weekend, I watched the entirety of Derry Girls, a charming show about an eclectic group of friends trying to make it through the day in Ireland during The Troubles. It was a bop and I am a Derry girl through and through. I’m now halfway through Bad Education, a hilarious show about a kindhearted but abysmal teacher and I am obsessed. It is the complete opposite of what you should do in a classroom, but it’s so funny. Give these or other comedies a try. If you haven’t seen Absolutely Fabulous, The Vicar of Dibley, Miranda, or Keeping Up Appearances, you have plenty of catching up to do!

Tuesday:
Why don’t you find a cure for the common cold before I die? Reader, I have much more worrisome medical issues, but having the symptoms of the common cold is a billion times worse than having multiple sclerosis. Seriously, y’all. My MS is under control and hardly a worry. My coughing, sneezing, and runny nose are far more unbearable. I’m so sick of being sick. We’re on day six now, reader, and I’m over it. FIX ME! I don’t think I can stand to take any more Mucinex.

Wednesday:
Why don’t you do everything in your power to speed up the construction of Boone’s remodeled McDonald’s? I have a generous slice of time for lunch during student teaching, and I really want to do nothing more than gorge on a double Filet-O-Fish. With great enthusiasm, I hurried over there the other day to find the property in ruins. It had been gutted and was in the midst of being completely rebuilt. They only just installed the windows. When will I have my fish? When will I have my life back?

Thursday:
Why don’t you learn a useful tool to make your job easier? This summer I had to take the most asinine class I’ve ever been forced to suffer under, and the single solitary benefit of it was discovering an online service called Socrative. It allows teachers to give quizzes online and get instant results. I gave a formative assessment to check understanding of a unit I’m working on, and I screamed when I saw how clearly my class needed reteaching of specific concepts. I would never know this without much more digging otherwise. This is a game-changer.

Friday:
Why don’t you at least try to do some kind of fitness regimen? I used to be so dedicated to this. I would walk every single day. I would count calories. For a time, I could do a plank for over five minutes without a worry. I would check my email while planking and doing wall sits like I was an athlete or something. After the past two years of college, I sincerely haven’t had time, and so I’ve fallen out of the habit. I need to get back into it, but I’m struggling so much. I need to change up my lifestyle and really reintroduce these things. It’s not hard, it just takes the right mindset, and I can’t seem to figure it out.