Things I Loved/Hated This Week #18

LOVE:

Readymade Margaritas:

Whoever came up with this is a genius. I assume I should thank Señor Jose Cuervo. Is he or was he a real person? I like to think so. Maybe he had a tequila plantation. How do you make tequila? It’s with agave, I believe, so maybe Jose grew lots of agave? I should research this further. I’m sure you remember how much I love margaritas. I talk about it all the time. Jessica came to my house this Friday instead of me going to hers, so we wouldn’t have a chance to go out for Mexican food as we do each week. I had to have my weekly margarita, so I bought a massive bottle of premixed margarita. I thought it might be good. It would be something if not good. I like Skinnygirl margarita, which is a more expensive version of the same thing. This was good. It’s really good. I’m kind of obsessed. You fill a glass up with ice and top it with margarita and it’s heaven. Heaven, I tell you. Gracias, señor Cuervo. [I just looked it up. He was real!

Short Shorts:

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I never thought that I would be the kind of person to wear short shorts, but I am, and I love them. It’s not like I’m wearing them in public and flashing my shapely thighs at everybody, which I’m sure people would appreciate–I have great legs, I won’t lie. I just wear them around the house. They’re fun. I have a pair from American Apparel [above] and a pair by Andres Velasco [above]. Very comfortable. I want to get them in every color. I cannot wait for springtime and summer so that I can be outside all the time (in my short shorts) gardening, bicycling, walking, running, tanning, building things. I’m already getting excited. This horrible winter cold can’t last much longer. I effing hate winter. It’s so sad. I need my outside time. My thighs need sun exposure.

“Catfish”:

I am in love with this show. I was familiar with the practice of catfishing, if not the actual name for the activity. It is when a person creates a fake person on the Internet with the intent of making somebody fall in love with them. Alternatively, they can be escaping into a fantasy life and living out an existence they never could in the real world. This show examines relationships like these and brings these anonymous lovers together. I thought it would be comedic and I’d be laughing at what I thought were to be creepy losers, but I can’t help sympathizing with the people on the show and dramatically anticipate each development, hoping and praying that their online lover is really real. What a usual reality show would do is to make everybody an ugly sex offender and make us laugh, but this show, for reasons that I adore, stay classy. These are real people with real feelings hoping for a real resolution to their problems. I’m sure it’s painted a particular way in the editing, but that didn’t matter. The episode I watched last night about James and Rico was so touching. Rico fell in love with James, whom he thought was a successful model always flying from one photo shoot to the next. Rico believed it totally, which frustrated me. It doesn’t take long to find a person on the Internet. After a couple Google searches and a Skype call, you know who you’re communicating with, but the people on this show never do this. They blindly believe in everything the other person says, and it’s tragic, because it can so easily end in heartbreak. James isn’t a model, he’s a bus driver, and Rico is understandably hurt. Not because he isn’t a model, though that was a letdown, but because everything was tainted with lies. James seems nice enough, and we want to give him a chance, but he lied about so much that Rico didn’t know what to believe, it was so emotional. In the end, they decided to give their relationship a try and I was so happy. This show is ridiculous. Why does the cohost tape everything on a tiny camera when there is a camera crew? You’ve got to watch it.

Coffee Break German:

One of my beloved hobbies and pastimes is language learning. Linguistics have always been a delight for me and I take great pleasure in being able to communicate in other tongues. When I do my practice and learning, I never seem to learn enough to be fluent (besides French), but I know how to order a glass of wine or get a hotel room or tell somebody that I don’t speak their language. That’s one of my favorites. I mean, it’s the most pointless phrase to learn in a foreign language. Why practice the perfect pronunciation of “I do not speak [insert language here]?” Makes me laugh. Could just be me. One of my favorite language learning programs that isn’t Pimsleur, is any of the podcasts created by the Radiolingua Network. They’re delightful podcasts and completely free, unless you decide to upgrade to more in-depth podcasts, which I never do. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about the way the lessons are set up that really make you comfortable with the material. I had learned quite a bit of German a few years ago, but it hasn’t stuck very well, so I was thrilled when they announced the release of Coffee Break German. We’re three lessons in so far, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. I’m listening to lesson three again this afternoon after work as I wasn’t listening very well. I was distracted. The Internet does that. The Internet is a burden and detriment on my learning. But there are so many cute cats on there!

“Class Act”:

I just cannot get enough of Joanna Lumley or British sitcoms from the 90s. This delightful mystery/comedy is easily one of my favorite shows. Joanna stars as Kate Swift, a socialite who’s life is in decline after she goes to prison. She does not adjust well to this at all and because of it finds herself in all kinds of ridiculous situations. She refuses to work, because, why should she, but she’s dirt poor. In her poverty, though she still has all the accoutrements of wealth, she is forced to find money from “alternative sources.” She befriends an Australian criminal named Gloria and drunk and defamed journalist named Jack. Together, these goons create a ridiculous family of their own invention and try to make a buck by investigating mysteries and murders and the occasional theft. It’s such fun. I finally have the DVDs, so I can watch them over and over again!

Burger King Veggie Burgers:

I am ashamed of myself for admitting this to you, but I am rather fond, nay, in love with the veggie burgers at Burger King. They’re unbelievably delicious. I’m not lying. I never thought that I would say something like this, but, well, I just said it. I’m fond of healthy foods and fresh organic vegetables and things like that, but ever so often I have the insatiable craving for one of these wonderful burgers. I had two (2!) for lunch yesterday and I loved every bite. I get them with just cheese since lettuce and tomatoes in a fast food restaurant freaks me out. Have you read Tomatoland? Do so, if you haven’t, it’ll change your world. I don’t know what it is about these burgers or what is in them that is so good, but they are better than any other “vegetarian burger” that I’ve ever had, aside from this black bean and lentil one I had at a London pub called the Prince of Teck. That was delicious. I want to go back to London. I miss it awfully. So, if you’re vegetarian, or in the mood for some slightly healthy fast food, try this out. You shan’t regret it.

HATE:

Abundance of Crap Cinema:

Earlier this week, I finally finished my 2012 resolution of watching and reviewing a movie every day of the year. It took me about a month longer than it should have, but I got it done. So proud. Now I need a new one to blog about. Something about my quest for abs. I’ll have to think about how to write that one. I watched my first movie outside of my goal last night and I was excited to mindlessly be entertained by what I was sure would be a quality film. Notorious stars Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman and is directed by Alfred Hitchcock. I love all of this, but the film was a bore. I am sick to death of boring movies. It seems that one out of every dozen is barely worth watching. I left it running while I did some other work. I just want quality. Is it so hard, Hollywood?

Tying Ties:

You know that I’m basically a Victorian dandy, right? I’d wear a velvet smoking jacket (which I own) every day with a carnation in my boutonniere if I could get away with it. But, that is not really in fashion these days. Unfortunately, neither are capes. I think capes are due for a revival. They just drip with elegance. I picture myself swishing through the streets with a heavy black cape lined in a dark crimson lining in some kind of Art Deco pattern. People would collapse at the sight of how chic I was. Anyway, the fanciest I can get is to wear a tie, but I hate putting them on. I just cannot figure it out. On the occasions that I do wear them, it’s when I’ve had ample time to try a thousand times before getting lucky enough to make it look right. I don’t know where I go wrong, but it doesn’t matter how long the ends are at the beginning, the tie is always too short. I need to go to some kind of remedial class. I wanted to wear a tie today, but it just wasn’t happening, so I threw I off in exasperation and switched my entire outfit. My life is a tragedy.

“Just kidding…/Just saying…”:

The kids at work are always saying this and it drives me out of my mind. They will say the rudest, vilest, cruelest things, then say, “Just kidding,” before laughing and pretending that it doesn’t matter that they just crushed somebody’s feelings. I get so angry at this, but they never learn, and no matter what I say, it continues on. Every day, I hear it. Now, they’ve added, “Just saying,” when they think they’ve been particularly clever and it’s just so rude and upsetting. Maturity levels are at an all time low and carelessness is at an all time high.

Contestants Being Shocked Every Time They See The Host:

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It’s always amusing the first time contestants on reality series see RuPaul or Tyra. They lose their minds and scream and babble as if Jesus Christ had just returned to begin the Second Coming. I laugh. Never fails. But, then, as the season progresses, these people are still hyperventilating each time the host shows up. Tyra will come into the house and girls will collapse. I hope this is editing magic, because I cannot understand how desperate they are to squeal when a person comes over to their house that they’ve been seeing regularly for weeks. Is it just me? Wouldn’t you say, “Hey, girl, can I get you something to drink? Have a sit on chaise, I’ll be right out.” Maybe I’m not actually meant for reality television…

Decline of Everyday Food:

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For years, one of my favorite magazines has been Martha Stewart’s Everyday Food. It’s a little digest sized publication that has lots of cooking tips and secrets and good recipes with gorgeous photography. I always looked forward to it arriving in the mail and pouring over it for ideas and inspiration. Martha’s company has been struggling lately, and they’ve been forced to cut back on certain things–this magazine being one of them. I was devastated when the first supplementary issue arrived attached to next month’s issue of Martha Stewart Living. It was an anemic version of the old magazine, barely twenty pages long. It still had gorgeous photography and decent looking recipes, but only a handful. The soul had been taken from it. I’m not sure if I’m going to be refunded the money that I’ve paid for my current subscription or not. It’s a tragedy, I think, in the culinary world that this charming little magazine has been lost. I won’t get over it for the longest time.

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