She loves and worships gay men in a way that is equal parts worrying and hilarious. She wants everybody to be gay. So, imagine her complete and utter glee to see handsome Mexican men openly parading up and down one of the pedestrian streets hand-in-hand with their impossibly more handsome boyfriends. She sighed in complete contentment so often that it was worrying. I first thought she might be having trouble breathing because of the altitude, but it was just gay joy.
We went to Planet Fitness and one of the employees took us on a tour. She showed us all the exercise equipment which we politely nodded at, but she quickly became disgusted with us after she asked what our fitness goals were. “To be tan,” I replied, quite seriously. She scoffed somewhat but controlled her rage and gave us the tour of the massage chairs, tanning beds, and body vibrator things. This looked delightful so we signed up at once.
The memories of my childhood are few and far between. Someday a therapist will sort all that out, but I really don’t mind. I’m quite all right with the creature […]
The first ten seconds of this are important for this post. It’ll make sense much later. The lady in the sandwich shop really intrigued me when she mentioned that Turin […]
“You have a, how do you say? The head of a killer!” a woman chuckled at me at the little bookstore where tickets to the museum are sold. I grimaced warily at this odd greeting and entered the museum.
Immediately, I was gobsmacked. The first room is dark, has a terrifying bust of a Neanderthal, and opens up onto the first main room. Skulls and death masks are everywhere. There isn’t a visible surface that isn’t dedicated to the weird and horrible.
LOVE: New Keyless Lock: Ever since I rented a beautiful apartment in Washington DC with a keyless door, I have been obsessed with the idea of having one of my […]
LOVE: Mummies As Cocoon: Ancient Aliens is one of my favorite television programs, but it’s very hit or miss. Ever since the first two seasons finished, it seems as if […]
I can’t stop saving pictures, so it’s time for another delightful installment of my faux Tumblr. Prepare yourself for fun. I have become obsessed with Jean Cocteau’s art again. It […]
LOVE: Readymade Margaritas: Whoever came up with this is a genius. I assume I should thank Señor Jose Cuervo. Is he or was he a real person? I like to […]
This bitch is done! I’ve been celebrating ever since the last blog post I did on my movie resolution. Then, I remembered I had to pick my favorites and I […]