Why Don’t You? #6


Why don’t you go through your fonts and delete the dreadful Papyrus and loathsome Comic Sans? They make you look foolish and immature. Instead use wonderful and beautiful fonts like Archer Pro, Goudy, or Bodoni.

Why don’t you paint all the doors in your house black, in honor of Queen Victoria, who even in death is surely mourning Prince Albert. Not only are you doing your part to maintain history, it’s so chic! There’s nothing more lovely than a black door. Trust me.

Why don’t you make a conscious effort to make your home as chic and relaxing as a rented vacation home? We are all much more happy when we’re staying at a lovely place like that, aren’t we? Do you really need fifteen different coffee cups that you don’t use or ratty towels or a bunch of old documents and books you hate? Of course you don’t! Save up some cash, throw all that out, and replace it with simple and elegant things. Four nice coffee cups, four nice white towels, some good books, etc. You’ll thank me.

Why don’t you open a new bank account and put in a negligible sum each week? It may take years to have a hearty balance, but just imagine how delightful it’ll be to purchase a designer coat guilt-free? Let’s go to Burberry.

Why don’t you take a weekend excursion to some unknown locale near you? I’ve discovered over the years that there are innumerable charming places to see if you just seek them out. For reasons I don’t understand, we rarely venture to the places we live near, instead jetting off for Europe and Mexico. I have no qualms with this, of course, but we need to see the world near us, too!

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