Monday:
Why don’t you spend some time going through your Netflix queue and deleting the movies and shows you no longer have any interest in? The other day, I discovered that I had about a dozen different versions of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I really don’t know why — they’re off the list now.

Tuesday:
Why don’t you start listening to a new podcast? They’ll surely expand your mind or make your laugh or at least give you a bit of fun you weren’t already having. I heartily recommend In Bed With Joan, Stuff You Missed in History Class, and Coffee Break Spanish. I also adore The Paranormal Podcast.

Wednesday:
Why don’t you import a bunch of passionfruit vines and grow them in your windowsill? Then, you can sell the ridiculously tasty fruit for exorbitant prices since those wonderful orbs are so impossible to find in our grocery stores. You’ll become a millionaire in passionfruit.

Thursday:
Why don’t you start investigating that odd job you’ve always had a lurking desire to have? I, for one, don’t think I appear the type to be a standup comedian, and yet, I have that dream. I’ve been looking into comedy classes and considering what my act might be. Who knows when the time for a show might arrive?

Friday:
Why don’t you buy an aristocratic title from one of those online shops that sell probably inauthentic name changes? I think it’d be rather marvelous to have my passport read: Lord Benjamin David Phillips, don’t you?