Monday:

Why don’t you spend an afternoon deep cleaning all of your windows? I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, but I think I shall soon. It’s so nice to see out into the world without spots or dead insects or fingerprints or Beysus-only-knows on your glass.

Tuesday:

Why don’t you replace all the light fixtures in your house with chandeliers? This is an expense, surely, but there are lovely models at the Home Depot for under $100. Just think of how decadent life will be with a chandelier in every room!

Wednesday:

Why don’t you drive down to Macy’s or go online and buy a completely new set of sheets? Don’t just stop at sheets, though! Get a new comforter and a bed skirt and fancy pillows with your initials embroidered on them with silken gold thread. If I wasn’t so awfully low on funds, I would absolutely redo my bed and make my sleeping chamber even more like a luxury resort.

Thursday:

Why don’t you binge watch an old British series on Netflix all day in bed? I’ve been going through Rosemary & Thyme like a delicious bar of chocolate. It’s so fun to sit around and watch a predictable (or sometimes not) comedy mystery all night long.

Friday:

Why don’t you pack a backpack with all your important possessions, hop on a train and start your life over in some fabulous city somewhere far away? I think everybody should do this at least once. I know I will someday soon.