Why Don’t You? #55

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Monday:

Why don’t you explore and research another December holiday to celebrate in addition to the one(s?) you already do? It is excellent to be cultured, of course, and it is even more delightful to go shopping for menorahs. I spent a good hour last night on eBay browsing antique ones. I decided to be frugal and not get one, but they weren’t terribly expensive. Besides that, I like the idea of a week of small gifts. I just love gifts. And black and white cookies. I need to make some soon.

Tuesday:

Why don’t you just go back to bed? Nothing is that important today that you shouldn’t just get into bed. Read a book. Drink some coffee. Watch Murder, She Wrote. Just get in bed.

Wednesday:

Why don’t you bake an obscene number of loaves of bread, cool them slice them, and then throw them in the freezer for your future convenient consumption? I am always stunned at how well bread freezes. Ten minutes in the oven and you would think it was baked only hours ago.

Thursday:

Why don’t you go to the Home Depot and pick up a nice gallon of paint from their accident section? Once, I picked up the most gorgeous Tiffany blue for a laughably small price. It was a premium paint, too, one of those lusciously thick brands that need only one coat. I painted the kitchen in a house I used to have, and I have used the remnants to paint certain accent pieces in my current kitchen. I even painted the front door using it. It’s absolutely beautiful, but I never would have dared to use something so bold if it hadn’t been so cheap. Go experiment, dear readers.

Friday:

Why don’t you on a vegan detox for the weekend? I don’t know if detoxes really do anything or not, but it’s nice to tell everybody that you’re detoxing — it makes it seem like you are really in control of yourself. I’ll probably just eat a bunch of grapefruit and Cheerios and call it good. I need to get my diet back on track. It’s difficult to eat healthy in the wintertime.

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