Monday:

Why don’t you procure some gorgeous sugar lumps like the beautiful ovals you can find in Parisian grocery stores? It’s incredibly elegant to drop one or three into a scalding hot glass of Moroccan mint tea and sip whilst staring out on the slate grey roofs of France’s capital city. Trust me on this one if you never have. Sugar cubes will do, but I just won’t abide loose sugar. It’s démodé.

Tuesday:

Why don’t you go to your nearest shelter and adopt an aged animal? I have surely suggested this path before, but I’m still passionate about it. There is no reason not to welcome an elderly cat, parrot, iguana, or dog into your home if you have the means to do so. Your time together won’t be so long, but it will surely be just as sweet. And isn’t it better to live your twilight days with somebody who worships you rather than in a cage? Of course it is. Off you go, reader.

Wednesday:

Why don’t you throw away all of your socks and replace them? There is absolutely nothing more luxurious in all the world than a new pair of socks. They’re soft, like walking on clouds, and make you feel like royalty. I think, if I ever have enough money, I will buy three hundred and sixty five pairs and then throw them away each day. How glorious life will be with a new pair of socks. Or maybe buy enough for a new pair each week. Do something. Socks are elegance.

Thursday:

Why don’t you turn a closet in your house into a hydroponic garden? It’d be ever so nice to pop in there and trim some gorgeous herbs. Imagine, you could have delicate and tender salad greens swelling up inside a disused space! You could have all the basil gimlets your want all year round. You could make gorgeous pot pies with fresh thyme. You could even raise a pumpkin if you were clever enough. I don’t actually have a closet for this, but it’s a dream of mine.

Friday:

Why don’t you get a week’s worth of custom black skinny jeans made for you? Everybody looks all right in black skinny jeans, but there’s nothing more traumatizing than shopping for pants. You either feel like a blood sausage or a shapeless lump. It’s not a fun process, but when you find the right pants, like those gorgeous 1969 jeans from GAP, it can be life changing. If you have a tailor that offers to make custom pants, though, go with this. Life will be so much less stressful. Be fashionable. And black is always in fashion, dear reader.