Why Don’t You? #135

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Monday:

Why don’t you slather yourself in coconut oil, turn on the fireplace, and sleep for fourteen hours? Everybody needs pampered once in awhile. So, save yourself some coins and treat yourself at home. Light some incense, meditate, zone out, sip a second martini, and live your best life. Or take your coins and go get acupuncture! I really want to try that and see if it makes my back feel like I’m not eighty. Do something for you!

Tuesday:

Why don’t you make a list of all the restaurants in your local area that you want to visit? There are dozens of new restaurants in Des Moines that I haven’t had a chance to visit yet, and that’s a real shame. I haven’t heard any place that is particularly special or unforgettable, but there is a number of good places. I must get to them all, and I must try everything, and I must be knowledgeable about what the city has to offer. But…I could just keep going to the Cheesecake Factory for stuffed mushrooms and hibiscus lemonade. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Wednesday:

Why don’t you start a dream journal? I feel I may have recommended this ages ago as one of my very first suggestions. Who knows at this point? I think dreaming is just wonderful, even though I don’t remember my dreams much anymore. When I wake up and have a moment to type or write them, I have much better recall, and it’s so interesting to look back on the weirdness of my dreams at a later point. I’m going to start again, because I don’t want to forget dreams like the wonderful one I had this morning at an Aswan bar with Joanna Lumley. Remember, reader!

Thursday:

Why don’t you drink four margaritas? That’s all.

Friday:

Why don’t you hire staff? I have been recommending this for decades now. I have recently had something similar to staff in my home, and it’s been remarkable. Life is so much more relaxing when I don’t have to do every single thing. Literally every single thing. I had time to relax and wash my hair. And when I said, “Martini, please!” an icy martini showed up a few minutes later. Live your best life, reader, it’s well worth whatever expense.

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