Monday:

Why don’t you stop procrastinating for once in your damn life, put on some mariachi music, and get your house back into shape? I get so stressed out when my possessions aren’t where they belong. If there are more than a pile of dishes, I want to jump off a bridge. If I can feel cat litter on the hardwood, I want to weep. So why do I put this off? I don’t know. I cleaned everything last night, I even aired out the house. Now it feels so calm and beautiful. I’m so happy. And this is surely why Jessica and I would never survive living with each other!

Tuesday:

Why don’t you go and get a job you’ve always wanted but wrongly felt was beneath you? I went to McDonald’s last night after class and everybody there seemed so happy. I wanted the simple joy of dunking fries into oil and giggling with Becca about where she hid a water bottle and then wandering if Stephen was going to fake sick his shift again. They were fascinating. Oh I also want to be a trash collector. One time I helped mine load a bunch of trash into the truck. It was honestly thrilling. Good time had. Get a fun job, follow your frycook dreams!!

Wednesday:

Why don’t you set a date to start a diet and then gorge yourself until then? I have decided that February 4th is when I’m going to start tracking calories again. I feel better when I do, even though it is a huge pain in the ass. Last night, I ate koshari (a wonderfully unhealthy Egyptian dish), a bowl of popcorn, and a package of black and white cookies. It was decadent, but I feel disgusting. Oh well. I’m going to keep it up until next week!

Thursday:

Why don’t purge your closet and then do it again a week later? Over the winter break, I yanked probably a quarter of my clothes out of the closet to donate. I was alarmed at how many shirts I didn’t even know I had. And I thought that I was done and that I would wear all that was left, but this morning I put on a sweater that I couldn’t give up and laughed at how ugly it was. It joined my pile for donations. Purging takes time and repeated effort.

Friday:

Why don’t you accept some student loans and finally feel like you can breathe? I just got my financial aid dispersement, and I’m no longer constantly thinking about money. I had no idea how much it was weighing me down. I hate debt. It’s the worst thing in the world. I feel so bad for all the people who live with constantly accruing debt that they can’t manage. I’m one of them. But now I’m a bit closer to being free. Allah bless student loans.