Why don’t you join in on the latest craze that I’m obsessed with but nobody else seems to be doing? So it’s not a craze, but I love it, and you all need to start buying paint by sticker books. I bought one about famous musicians about half a year ago and promptly forgot about it. Last night I did some tidying and came across it and spent a most delightful hour applying minuscule stickers onto the outline of Dolly Parton. It was weirdly therapeutic. I’ve been doing it nonstop ever since. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Why don’t you deep clean your bedroom? Like…a really deep clean. Like a professional clean. I’ve always been rather proud of my bedroom’s minimalist aesthetic, but it recently dawned on me that I’m not as minimalist as I might have thought. I bought some gorgeously expensive new sheets (on sale!) — don’t worry, we’ll discuss them later — and I realized that I needed to get rid of old sheets and electronic boxes that I decided at some point to store under the bed. To my horror, I discovered that there were several cats worth of hair hidden under the chairs and bed and hamper. I spent a few hours vacuuming and scrubbing and bagging up for the thrift shop and I plugged in an air purifier. Now the bedroom is a divine sanctuary and I can hardly get out of bed. That’s really not that different, I suppose.
Why don’t you sleep for twelve hours and wake up feeling refreshed? I recently started a long term substitute job and the first day wore me out. I got home, made a snack, and promptly fell asleep. I went to bed at about seven o’clock that night and didn’t wake up until seven o’clock the next morning. I had some absolutely wild dreams that dealt with Borneo and Aston Martin convertibles in Leeds, England. I don’t know what the point of that dream was, but it was insane. Still, I woke up feeling super rested and relaxed. It was a blessing!
Why don’t you treat yourself to a cute little syringe of Botox? Last night I had seventeen units put in my forehead and…y’all…I have to admit, I have rarely had so much fun in my life. And I pride myself on having fun. The doctor working on me was an absolute hoot, I was with one of my best friends, and it was an absolute dream come true. Afterward, we told each other jokes in a pizzeria to see if our newly frozen faces would move. They didn’t. It was truly a magical blessing. Get some toxins in your faces!
Why don’t you get some brand new bedding? You might have noticed that I’m slightly obsessed with bedrooms right now, but that’s for the best. Long story short — and you would never guess the reason and we aren’t getting into it but it is not anything like what you’re thinking, trust me — but my white sheets were not so white anymore. I treated myself to a new set from West Elm and grabbed a gorgeous duvet cover and now I feel like I’m living in a five-star hotel. It’s what my dreams are made of. I even stuck an air filter in there. I’m living my very best life these days!