Monday:

Why don’t you design a beautiful family tree and hang it above your mantle or on the walls of your stairwell? Many people find the majority of their family unpalatable, but it’s still nice to get a better understanding of your people and where they come from. Maybe you’ll discover you’re a Bavarian princess or a Cornish baker? I have discovered that some relations of mine had a grand home in Germany, but I can’t figure out the exact relation. Working on it. I need to make a pilgrimage to the ancestral hall. I mean, look at it:

Tuesday:

Why don’t you throw away all of your socks — every single last pair, reader — and replenish your collection? Socks take a lot of wear each day and I’m appalled by how readily holes appear  — even in my beloved ironic fox socks from Target. Luckily, these undergarments aren’t expensive, so it won’t dent your budget to have nice new socks. Your feet will thank you, surely.

Wednesday:

Why don’t you get a tattoo of one of your heroines on your arm? It’ll be so nice to look in the mirror and see Joan Crawford or Lucille Ball looking back at you with steely determination. I absolutely adore tattoos and I think we should all have more of them — tasteful ones with stories, clearly. Just nothing tribal, please! Go out, readers, get inked. I want more; I already have a Joan Rivers quote picked out.

Thursday:

Why don’t you plan a trip around a shop you want to return to or visit for the very first time? I once went to London for a pair of shoes, reader, and it was a wonderful trip. I highly recommend planning excursions like this. I’m currently desperate to return to MUJI, but that would mean a trip to California or New York City. Both of these sound absolutely delightful! I also have been meaning to revisit the gift shop at the Japanese embassy in Paris — so, off I’d better fly. Go shopping!

Friday:

Why don’t you make a wide assortment of soups and then freeze them for easy but delicious meals in the winter? I know that winter isn’t officially for another month or so, but it was seven degrees when I went to work, so I’m declaring the season started. Last night I made the most delicious tomato soup with some tomatoes I had frozen during the summer. I should have frozen some more! Instead, I ate most of them in caprese salad. NO REGRETS. Next week I’m going to make lentil soup and then potato soup, and then I’m going to happily gorge on my overabundance of SOUP.