A Harmless Little Flea


Last night, I watched The Emperor’s New Groove, as I said I was going to do, and am I ever glad that I did. That movie is painfully hilarious. I had forgotten how much I love that movie, I now wonder why. I intend on watching it at least once a week for the rest of my life. This scene alone, that I posted below, I had to rewind ten times to watch it again. And the ending made me cry with tears…squeakin. (That’ll make sense if you’ve seen the movie, and if you haven’t–what’s wrong with you?)

I thank the Lord above that my class wasn’t until 12:30pm, so I could stay up a bit later and eat a brownie and try to get to sleep after my fit of hysterics. I slept on the couch bed because I think it is more comfortable. I don’t like sleeping in my bedroom, it’s cold and creepy kind of, and the couch bed is awesome to unfold and put away, it’s like magic. I need to get one for my bedroom back home.

When I woke up, I was very sleepy, but oh well, it’s not my fault that the sun hasn’t shone since Saturday, which makes me rather depressed. I should go to a doctor or something, but I don’t know if there is a prescription for a Vitamin D deficiency.

A little after 11:30, I went down to the Metro and read all about Gloria Swanson again. That book has very tiny print, I felt old reading it.

On the sidewalk to school, I ran into my friends all looking frantic as they studied their recipes — turns out the cuisine students have their written exam today, that would suck.

We had class in that horrible little room upstairs again today. It is truly a miserable place to learn, but it was kind of fun today. I squeezed into the back with Ilaria, Daniel, and Azham. We were all very chatty and amused at nothing, so we kept getting into trouble for being disruptive. We weren’t, though. Not nearly as disrupting as that little, forgive my language, bitch, who I can’t stand. She is ONE person at school who I cannot stand and will not name, but she drives me out of my freaking mind.

She wore one glove today, I guess she thought that she was Michael Jackson during the Bad era or something. Then, in the middle of the demonstration, she got up to announce that she had to go and get her scarf because she had a sore throat. So, she made a big ordeal about going to the locker and getting it. Since when do scarves help sore throats? I thought mentholated lozenges did that trick. More about her later.

Today’s cake seems much too easy and that makes me uncomfortable. It’s basically a circle of puff pastry with almond (why almond…?) cream in the center. In the end, it’s very pretty, but that’s about it. It kind of looks like a mutated sunflower or the sun, if the sun had puffy edges instead of solar flares.

Deborah, the translator, drew what appeared to be breasts on her paper to show us how to do the scalloped edges, when she realized what we were all hysterically laughing at, she joined in, as did the Chef. It was not what I would call a serious day, whatsoever.

Chef opened the windows as it was very nice out, he said something about spring being almost here, and I was very excited about it. I am pretty sure the windows are either retarded or haunted, I think the latter is the more likely theory, because they kept opening and slamming shut all of their own accord.

Chef was bored, he proclaimed, so he was going to make us some surprises like Millefeuille and some other things. Deborah excitedly and amusedly and hypothetically said, “Who doesn’t love surprises?” We all said, “Nobody,” with sarcasm until that little twit wearing her glove and scarf acting as if she were on deck the Titanic as an iceburg was careening towards her, cried, “I DON’T! I really don’t like surprises at all.” We all just sat there in silence saying in our heads, “Bitch, please, just go. None of us like you and your alcohol fearing ways, freak.” If she is reading this, you are a lovely person.

As class came to a close, Daniel, my 37 year old friend (he acts more like 16, which I appreciate) started drawing little caricatures of people and secretly placing them in their IDs. It was one of the stupidest and funniest things I have ever seen. Each time Azham or whoever else had a picture turned to look at us or speak we would burst out with inappropriate giggles. I may have wet myself.

After class, everybody headed off for their exams, and I headed off home to study for mine on Friday. I memorized another recipe, bringing my mind cookbook up to four. I have two more to get down by Friday, plus a bunch of vocabulary.

I watched a bunch of television shows on my laptop to amuse myself, and I really did. Now, I’m going to bed.

Laughing is a lot of fun…it makes me happy, I’d suggest you laugh too, at others or at yourself, it’ll make you feel better. The world could be a much happier place if we all just lightened up. I know I have, and it makes me very, very happy.

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