You probably know this, but one of the careers I have always wanted is to be a fashion editor — kind of like a glorious blend of Grace Coddington and Diana Vreeland. I would be in charge of some Vogue caliber magazine that dealt with men’s fashions. We have GQ and Details, but there is no publication out there that deals with men’s fashion the way I want them to. I want to see dreamy, otherworldly photoshoots like they have in W. Did you see the Tilda Swinton editorial in the last issue — swooning! That’s the kind of thing I want to do and I think the fashion world needs. That, and I just want to be in the fashion world. Always have. It’ll happen eventually. I think I’ll be a model that breaks into the industry like Grace did. Read her book, by the way, it’s required reading if you read my blog.

So, over the years, I have spent many long hours cultivating a collection of pictures I like and try to emulate in my own styles. If only I had a better paying job to procure some of these gorgeous little things! When I’m editor-in-chief of my magazine, though, it will be required of me to look unbelievably well put together and very well dressed. I assume I’ll spend half the year in New York, half in Paris, and then jetting to other important fashion destinations in between, and of course to all of the photoshoots.

Here’s just a sampling of the pictures in my file of fashions I like. I’ll give a little commentary — it’ll be like my own magazine!

The print of the shirt reminds me of the wallpaper in my house that I recently discovered hidden under various layers of uglier wallpaper and even uglier wood paneling. I need this. Put it on my body.

Everybody looks better in clothes that fit them well. Find a good tailer, lads, they will change your life for the better.

I am planning on going to Cairo and Luxor this Christmas. I’m not sure on any details other than that, yet. I hope there’s no war or revolution going on, because that would really mess with my dreams. All my life, I’ve lamented the fact that I wasn’t born in Victorian London to a family of adventurers. That’s what this image makes me think of and I am going to wear it every day I’m in the warm dessert gorging on falafel, wandering the Egyptian museum, and weeping at the sight of Abu Simbel.

I don’t approve of sweatpants as a matter of principle, but I’d consent to wear these ones. They have a good fit to them, and if I had a nice ass like that, I’d want everybody to see it.

I love yellow pants. I would wear them each and every day, if I could get away with it. Every shade of yellow is elegant. I have mustard pants and pale Easter yellow, and shorts in the same colors. I need more. I don’t need the purple shoes, though. (Purple is the only color I dislike.)

I love stripes and don’t think that the nautical look is ever going out of style. If it does, I’ll buck the trend and continue wearing my vast collection of stripes. I dress like this fellow when I dress casually, aside from the leather jacket. Vegetarian, you know?

See what I mean about yellow pants? I’m wearing something almost identical to this ensemble this week and I cannot wait.

Somebody make this blazer mine. Mustard! Maybe I’ve gone overboard on the yellow thing?

After stripes, herringbone is my favorite pattern. It’s just timeless and gorgeous. I love this oversized look.

This could be me, but my hair is in that weird in-between-styles period that I’m hating. I’ve decided to grow it out some. Note the yellow.

I had a shirt that looked exactly like this, but it sadly was ruined during a chocolate related baking accident. I still weep with regularity.

This shirt — love. I just adore quirky prints and patterns. They have such pizzazz.

I’m not crazy about the clothes here, but I want that hair color! I dyed mine blonde a few years back and I loved it, but I was not crazy about the upkeep. I may have to give it another go. This guy is serving SS Realness. Perhaps not the most kindly way to put it, but you know what I mean.

Yellow pants and shoes!

The color block is never leaving, either, not until they pull it out of my cold, dead hands. (I’m not dying, by the way.)

Let’s not look at the tacky rope belt, but the rest of this is Yachting Weekend with the Rockefeller Crew Realness. I hope that I can legitimately use that phrase someday.

I think I’ve worn this exact outfit before. I love it.

 I need this for the 4th of July this year. I think I’ll be in New York City. I’m hoping I can somehow get an invitation to Martha’s yearly party on top of her offices in NYC. I’d just die. The second I get to New York, I’m going to start hanging around and ingratiating myself with the staff. Maybe I’ll get a job. Something. I just need to be at that party.

Again –nautical references — always in style!

So, there’s the first installment of this surely fantastic series that you will adore reading again and again and again!

(Fashion people: get me a magazine, please. Thanks, Ben)