A Word From Reverend Benjamin #7

Holla Flock,

I forgot to make you a GIF this week of me blessing you, so here’s another picture of me, looking ravishing in yellow:

I really love yellow. It’s one of my very favorite colors to wear. I’ve been told that white people can’t pull off yellow, and to those fools I’d like to say, “LOOK AT MY BEAUTY.”

We’re in a state of emergency this week, details to follow, so let’s get straight to it. Open up your hymnals to “Work Bitch” and sing along:

How timely of our Saint Britney to release this plea for employment the same day the government shuts down! The government shut down, flock! I don’t even know what that means. All I know is that people are pissed and I still have to go to my job, which is paid for by the government, so I’m pissed too. We’re all pissed. I’m not really all that pissed. I think it’s amusing that the idiots are showing the people what imbeciles they really are. Can you believe that people voted for the tea party loons? I still can’t. Maybe this will get rid of them. There’s no room in government for people who can’t get along. I’ll be a crazy liberal when I start my political career, but I’m smart enough to understand that I’ll have to deal with ideas and people I don’t like. I can’t just pout until I get my way, though that would be more fun. It doesn’t do any good to sit around and wait for somebody else to solve your problem. Vote them out, flock, and tell them:

And if they don’t, remind them:

I need to get to work, too, because this summer, your beloved reverend is going to:

so I need to save my Euros. Oh, I can’t wait. I’m going to buy so many pastries and shoes. Much like a fashionable woman, shoes are my weakness. I’ll go on long walks through the arrondissements and maybe I’ll even get started on the travel guide I’ve been meaning to write. It’s a unique premise, too, so maybe I’ll seek publication. I need to do a bit more research, though!

Now, onto the second part of the sermon. OUR SAINT PARIS’ NEW SINGLE HAS BEEN DELAYED A WEEK. I have been so looking forward to the spiritual rhapsody that would take place when it was released, but now I have to wait. All we have is this clip:

Sweet Beysus, I cannot wait. This is more exciting than the time her song “Screwed” leaked. Let’s take a listen, shall we?

I can’t believe that was nine years ago. I’m so freaking old. Here’s me dancing to the song:

Thankfully, though, our beloved saint Miley was there to rescue us. Her new album is available to stream on iTunes RIGHT NOW and it’s a triumph. I can’t get over it. Pick it up the day it’s released.