A Word From Reverend Benjamin #17


Holla Flock!

Oh, it has been such a glorious week. You surely know what I’m referring to; the magical surprise reappearance of my dear friend, Beyoncé. we’ve reconciled, and as a result, she immediately dropped her new album. Bey’s a woman of her word. You’re welcome world.

I was working on a sermon last week about the harassment models go through (look for it next week) when my phone began to buzz and “Halo” began to play.

“Hey, Bey,” I said, glad to hear from her, it’d been too long and I missed her and Blue and Jay. I was a bit nervous, though, I won’t deny. She was still so angry about the whole Miley situation, but she needn’t have worried, my relationship with Miley has always been a friendly and creative one. We aren’t soul mates like I am with Bey.

“Bee!” she replied, “I think I was hasty earlier.”

“Oh,” I sighed in relief, “I understand. I shouldn’t have focused so much attention on Miley.”

She laughed, then sniffled. “Say you forgive me, say you accept my apology. I was just being a diva, the female version of a hustler. I care, Bee, I didn’t think you cared, but I was wrong.”

“I forgave you before we even fought.”

“I’ve just been so stressed. Nobody knows how to put an album together like we do. These people around me are driving me crazy. Please come help me, please, I’m in Chicago.”

I looked at my calendar. “I can be there Friday.”

She sighed, “Ok, but can you FaceTime me — help me? I need to get this album done for my fans.”

“Of course, Bey.”

We chatted for hours, staying up far too late, listening to those songs we’d recorded in Nice, putting final touches on the videos, putting the tracks in order. She was insistent on including lots of slow songs, and I failed to convince her to include my favorite that we had recorded, “Standing on the Sun.”

“We’ll put it on part two,” she declared. “You ready for this?”


“To drop the album. Let’s do it now.”

“Now?” I parroted lamely.

“Yep, we’re gonna freakum. See what I did there?”

“Yes I see.”

“And it’s Taylor Swift’s birthday,” she laughed.

I laughed, too, couldn’t help myself. “Let’s do it.”

And so we did, and pandemonium ensued.


It took ages to get to the concert on Friday night, traffic was horrendous with all of the fans making their way to the United Center, so I didn’t have much time to catch up backstage.


“BEE! YOU’RE HERE! THANK ME!” She gripped me tightly by the arm, “You’ll sing? You’ll dance?”

I nodded. “Of course, I remember all the steps.”

“I know you do,” she smiled, thrusting a costume into my hands.

“Only for the opening, though, I want to watch.”

She nodded. “Okay, Bee, I couldn’t do it without you.”



It was just like old days, Bey and I were perfectly in sync and it was simply the most marvelous time. I was relieved to stand out for the second half of the show, though, I don’t know how she keeps her energy up.

Of course I was in the front row and when “Halo” came on…well Bey knows how much I love that song, so she handed the mic to me:

1483286_10153662246495601_1680822003_nGratefully, I accepted it, and we brought the United Center to its knees. We’re good apart, but together we’re unstoppable.

Stay tuned for my regular sermons next week, flock.


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