Monday:

Why don’t you take a design risk and wallpaper a room? I’m thinking of wallpapering the upper parts of my parlor with this gorgeous Art Deco paper I found online. After I pay off my bills though, of course. Or not. YOLO.

Tuesday:

Why don’t you print off all the recipes you’ve been saving online and put them into a binder? I have no idea the number of ideas I have saved, so I may be missing out on something delicious. Flipping through a printed version, though, might inspire you to peruse them more often.

Wednesday:

Why don’t you take up journaling? In this modern era, it no longer needs to be written down in a bound diary (but, why not? A handwritten journal will be much more evocative and charming for your grandchildren to find — but only write them in cursive, please!), but it could also be a document on your computer or even online! Like Oscar Wilde said, “I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”

Thursday:

Why don’t you change your name to something more interesting? Benjamin is so démodé. I’d much rather be a Nicholas or a Dominic or even an Oliver, oh yes I’d like to be an Oliver. People in the the music world do it all the time — Beyoncé is suddenly Yoncé, which I’m still not used to, but I’m warming to it. Call yourself anything you like.

Friday:

Why don’t you refurbish your fireplace or buy a new electric one at the Home Depot? There’s nothing more melancholy than a living space without a fire. I know that they’re inefficient, but they’re so charming! I will definitely be getting one or two soon. My parlor is due for a serious remodel.