Monday:

Why don’t you visit your local greenhouse and buy all sorts of interesting herbs and flowers? There is a new one near me and I can’t wait to fill my garden with pineapple sage and curry and sorrel and so much more.

Tuesday:

Why don’t you start drinking more water? You all know you should, but y’all stay dehydrated for some reason. Be like me — drink five liters every day! It’s amazing how good a bit of water will make you feel.

Wednesday:

Why don’t you start a campaign to get something wonderful done at your place of business? I’m researching new water fountains at the moment because I recently fell in love with an amazing water fountain at Iowa State University that automatically filled my water bottle. It changed my life. We need them at the school.

Thursday:

Why don’t you go through your Twitter and Instagram and all your social medias and stop following all the people you don’t care about anymore? It’s so nice not to scroll past a bunch of crap everyday.

Friday:

Why don’t you reflect on all the things you regret not purchasing in your life? Really think about which ones cause you the most sadness and immediately hop on eBay and find replacements. I need to find some hexagonal Art Deco plates and pink Kenneth Cole shoes. Wish me luck, reader.