Monday:

Why don’t you treat yourself to an expensive, imported rice cooker with more features than you know what to do with? I eat rice for lunch every day at work, so this makes sense for me. But, I heartily believe it will enhance your life, too. I’m eyeing a model for $60 that has a steamer and more buttons than my car. I don’t exactly know what all I’ll do with it when I order it, but I’ve heard tell that you can make cakes and frittatas in it, so I’m turnt the eff up. I’ll probably order it when I get back from California nextw eek. Treat yourself, reader. Treat yourself often.

Tuesday:


Why don’t you research one of your bucket list goals? Before I die, I will have a Parisian apartment, but I don’t know the first thing about getting a Parisian apartment. Well, I didn’t. I do now. I did a lot of research (because I LOVE procrastination and would rather research legalities of French real estate than do my college homework) and have become much more knowledgeable. Taxes aren’t that bad after the initial purchase. Good to know. I’ll file that information away for the future. Research, readers.

Wednesday:
Why don’t you do something to get rid of your stress? I have thought of many multiple ways. I know that I am going to visit the monks in June. But that is a ways away. I need something more immediate. Maybe I will go to a casino and gamble in the penny slots. I love a penny slot. Or maybe I’ll go to a shooting range. I don’t like guns, but demolishing a paper target might be fun. Or maybe I will just take a nap.

Thursday:
Why don’t you become a master in one pastry? Really focus all of your attention on being flawless. I have mastered the macaron. It’s no longer a concern of mine. I’m confident that they will turn out flawless no matter what I do to them. Last night, I created a Moroccan mint tea variety that I think is the finest I have ever done. Well, maybe. It’s tasty. But I make plenty of tasty macarons. So, I’m ready to move on to the next pastry now that this recipe is primed for cookbook publication. I think it will be an opera cake. I love an opera cake. I’m going to get fat again.

Friday:
Why don’t you buy insurance for all of your electronic devices? It might not seem necessary at the time, and you won’t always get usage out of it, but the added money is not usually a deal breaker. My vacuum stopped working, but I bought a three-year-plan for it, so they are going to fix it for me. I dropped my iPhone last night for the first time, but since I pay a bit of insurance every month, the new one is arriving tomorrow. I have decided that insurance is so worth it. It makes life so much less stressful. I need to really think about getting it on my new iPad Pro. I hope to never need it, but if I do, well that will be so much simpler.