Why don’t you set yourself up an emergency “treat yo self” fund? I didn’t do this intentionally, but I had an extra savings account handy for a week of desperation. It was money I had siphoned off to go and visit the Dubuque monks and connect with nature for a week. I discovered though, that I might not need that excursion at all, so in the throes of terror at having a brain tumor and then discovering I probably have multiple sclerosis, I spent every last dime. It didn’t help cure me, but I did feel good living it up for a few days. Save some money to blow, reader. It helps.
Why don’t you go to the doctor if you aren’t feeling your best? Before last week, I never would have offered this advice. I would have said, “Chin up. If you don’t think you’re sick, you won’t be.” Then I would have mentioned yoga. And, to be totally honest, that worked fabulously well for me for nearly twenty-seven years. This year, though…nope. My leg and eye trouble bothered me so much that I bit the bullet and saw a slew of physicians. Like I said, I might have multiple sclerosis. Ugh. So, readers, go to the doctor and let them poke you anyway they think best. You can’t always heal yourself.
Why don’t you pick up a new unsavory hobby? If you’ve always wanted to smoke, give it a try! If you want to start going to the casinos and playing penny slots, go for it. Do you, reader! I have started swearing like a seasoned sailor. I curse all the damn time, and it’s peculiar how nice it makes me feel. Yesterday, I attempted to run and cried a bit while listening to Beyoncé music, and then I used swear words in every language I’ve ever known. It was cathartic. (Thank god Mr. Gab in Cairo taught me all that dirty Arabic slang.) Give it a try!
Why don’t you find out what vitamins you need? I took a multivitamin for a couple months one time, but then I ran out, and I really couldn’t be bothered. It made my urine electric yellow, and that was amusing, but hardly worth the $20 it cost for the bottle. My neurologist (do you have one of those?) recently told me to start taking Vitamin D3, so I take a massive dosage of it each day. I’ve always assumed I’m deficient in that vitamin anyway, since I crave the sun like a drug and become deeply depressed in the winter months. So, maybe this will do me a world of good? Who knows, but I still had fun at GNC. You can get anything there.
Why don’t you fill up a room with only blue? It will take you ages to get the right blend of blues, but someday you will manage the perfect mixture of rich navy, playful cerulean, and regal royals. Then you will live in opulence. Other than white and gray and black and gold and copper and bronze, I can’t think of a color that is more sumptuous than blue. Spend the rest of your life collecting beautiful blue Chinese vases, buy ruined antiques and paint them glossy blue. Put it all together and live your best life in blue.