Why don’t you take up a new hobby like sketching or stitching or something? I have a pant pattern on my desk that I’m dying to try, but I’m too scared to mess up. I have notebooks full of blank pages that I’m desperate to fill up, but I’m too scared they’ll look like shit. I don’t do an awful lot of things because I’m scared of the end result. I need to work on that. Let’s all be better than we are, dear and gentle readers.
Why don’t you create a secret thinking spot for yourself? Years ago (seven, to be exact), I thought that I would be a wine maker, so I designed a charming little vineyard in my backyard. It took ages for the vines to establish themselves, half of them died (thanks to industrial farming chemicals), and birds usually eat the grapes before I get a chance to enjoy them, but it’s still one of my favorite places. It’s secluded from the world and has a comfortable chaise lounge to tan on. I’m always out there, wearing far too little, drinking gin and champagne and loving life. I’d be crazy without my vineyard. I’m going to add some more vines and solar lights this year. It’s an oasis. You deserve something like that, reader.
Why don’t you start looking into investment opportunities? I don’t have the money to do this at the moment, but I’m determined to start some kind of portfolio by the time I’m thirty…that gives me a few years to understand what the hell I’m talking about. I’m intrigued by stocks, and different kinds of accounts, and investment properties. I don’t know how to get involved with any of it or how much of my income it would require to have a diversified portfolio, but I’ll get there. I want stocks that can be tracked on my iPhone. I want rental properties in Los Angeles and Paris. I want to have a chunk of land in the Amazon. I want a villa in Egypt. All of this is possible. I think I need to get myself a money manager…or a friend who will give me free advice and discounted services!
Why don’t you start planning a new career in case you tire of your current one? I have many aspirations in life: teacher, Egyptologist, museum curator, fashion designer, model, writer, and many even more absurd ideas. Another long time passion that I would like to explore is being a detective. I don’t want the scary kind with guns and drugs. I want Murder, She Wrote drama and cozy mysteries that involve disguises and champagne lunches to look for clues. I can open a little agency in the Marais in Paris and eat croissants and solve infidelity crimes. It would be a delight. I’ll wear big glasses and sip rose. Follow your dreams.
Why don’t you buy yourself one of those wonderful external battery packs to charge your phone on the go? I had one ages ago, but then I dropped it on Michigan Avenue in front of the Burberry shop, and it never worked again. I bought a new one this week for my trip to Europe and Africa, and it is amazing. For twenty dollars, I don’t have to worry about being stranded without my phone. Then again, I sincerely doubt that a dead phone will be high on my list of priorities if I’m stranded in the middle of the Sahara. But at least I can take selfies, looking adorable, up until the very end. That was dark.