Monday:

Why don’t you learn how to properly relax? It seems that everybody I know is aware of what to do, but it’s a skill I never learned. I can’t sit or stretch out on the couch and watch television all day. Trust me, I’ve tried. I’ve put myself in absurdly luxurious situations, but I am inevitably bored out of my mind. I’m most relaxed, I find, after a long day exploring a new city with nearly thirty-thousand steps under my belt. Maybe I just have my own way to relax? It’d be much simpler and economical to do it the usual way though. Maybe someday? Maybe never.

Tuesday:

Why don’t you radically alter your hair? I’ve been threatening to cut mine for years now, but I can hardly stand the thought of losing my mane. I don’t treat it well, though, and I’m starting to think my long hair is my hijab. I hide myself with it. I rely on it. It’s so long, reader. I nearly went mad with frustration yesterday, I was about to call a salon for an appointment, but then I put it back in the most beautiful bun. I regretted instantly thinking of being without my hair. But still…I suppose I must give it up one of these days. One day. I am planning on sitting for my next passport portrait next month, so I must make a decision as to what to do before then. Help me. Advice in the comments below, please and thank you.

Wednesday:

Why don’t you start drinking a glass or two of red wine every night for your health? I’m quite taken by the Mediterranean Diet, and very loosely adhere to it. I haven’t been able to add fish back into my patterns of consumption yet. Mainly because I really don’t want to. As I age and as I continue to live with disease, I realize that life is so much less serious than we think it is. It’s just a laugh. So, join me with an evening glass of Merlot and enjoy the splendid mellowness of one of humankind’s oldest pleasures.

Thursday:

Why don’t you spend a few hours scouring rental properties on AirBNB? I have had the most fun looking through the rooms and houses and apartments that are available for rent in Luxor, Egypt. I truly have every intention of owning a residence there someday. The sooner the better. My goal for 2018 is to start a savings account for my Egyptian estate. Anyway, it’s such a delight to see what is available. I’m currently obsessed with a house on the West Bank that is divvied up into four separate rentals. I would do something similar, I think, with my future property. I’m rambling. Just go look at property in Paris or Vancouver or Birmingham or Brașov or wherever you love.

Friday:

Why don’t you book yourself passage on the Orient Express? I didn’t know this was still a thing, but there are overnight trips from Paris to Verona for about two thousand euros. That’s ridiculous, but wouldn’t it be lovely to hop aboard the infamous Orient Express? I’m salivating at the thought. It looks absurdly luxurious. I am all about that. You know, one of these years, I’m going to be rich enough to live like I should. Someday. Some lovely day.