Why don’t you try alternative medicine for whatever ails you in the chance that it might work? I mentioned before that I’m having some absolutely awful shoulder pain, and nothing is fixing it. Well, martinis and pills help, but that’s hardly a viable solution. So tomorrow I’m getting acupuncture and I absolutely cannot wait! I’ve been fascinated by the practice for ages, but never felt I had reason to go. Now that my body is falling apart, I get to explore all these new ideas. I suppose that’s some kind of silver lining. 


Why don’t you write down all the strange stories of your life before you lose them forever? I recently learned somebody I didn’t know all that well passed away, but the odd and profound impact she made on my life has strongly affected me. She and I shared one bizarre evening together — and it is not what you think, this involved carnies, a ravine, and a dangerous ukulele — and I have never been able to stop thinking about it. Now that she’s dead, I’m the only one that knows the details. It’s such a strange feeling. Save your memories.


Why don’t you get a bone conducting hearing aid, commonly called a BAHA? These aren’t cheap and you have to be disabled to qualify, I assume, but I’m getting one because I’m hella deaf. I’m so excited. I had a trial of one and suddenly I could hear people speaking on my left side. I haven’t heard a thing out of my left ear since March. It was a true miracle. And it wasn’t like really hearing, because I was hearing them inside of my head…I can’t explain it. Surgery is next month and I’ll have my hearing aid in January. And it’s gold, guys!


Why don’t you lighten up? Life is very quick but it lasts such a wonderfully long time. You have almost an entire century to amuse yourself in any fashion you prefer, why not have a good time? I know people who are just utterly miserable and some who are bitter and others who are downright mean and just a few that don’t seem to understand happiness. Thankfully I know many other happy folks, but I’m always struck by people who stay in darkness. Life is just too much fun for that!


Why don’t you enjoy the first few weeks of sweater weather? You know how much I abhor the chill of winter, but autumn can be lovely for a month or so. It’s rather nice to go outside and not immediately regret wearing clothes of any kind. I’m hot these days way more often than I used to, and it makes me want to lose what little remains of my mind. But now I get the chance to wear my new ‘No Thank You’ sweater and I couldn’t be happier. I think I’m going to wear it to my hearing aid surgery next month. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   

One response to “WHY DON’T YOU #183

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