Ma and I went to Downtown Disney when the luau was out because…well, why not? I had a hot chocolate that was quite like what you are served at Angelina’s in Paris. As that crazy bitch says, “Yum-O!” We went to the most magnificent place on earth….are you ready? Behold:

Heaven! I tell you it is heaven!

After that, we drove to Port Orleans, again, why not, and had beignets. Very good, but nothing like the ones you can get at Café du Monde. I want to go to New Orleans so badly right now.

Back when I didn’t have as many issues with Canada. Le sigh…

The Segway tour I wanted Ma to go on. Looks like fun.

Belle told me that I was a natural Prince. Suck on that, my bitches! I will be a prince someday.

Moroccan fountain. Gorgeous. Must have in my home.

Is it a bee? Get it? No? Then I don’t want to be your friend. Watch this.

Lunch at Les Chefs de France. Pa and ma were ecstatic.

Jessica and Midge right before Jessica lost it. Look at Midge’s magnificent Provençal sundress. She’s my little fashionista.

Let’s break it down:

JESS: “I hate it here. I’m hungry.”

MA: “Shut up, Jessica. We’re tired of hearing you whine.”

JESS: “Oh, then, well, I’m sorry I was born.”

MA: “Shut up, Jessica.”

JESS: “Why didn’t you just abort me, then!”

MA: “When I found out I was pregnant it was too late!”

Dessert was a lovely chocolate mousse. Caramel at the bottom, though. I effing hate caramel.

Outside of the restaurant, such a lovely place.

And now, some pictures that I forgot to post earlier.

Midget was doing stunts. I was quite terrified.

“I have a secret! I’ll tell you, but first you must pinch my bottom!” Holla at the Lord Wyndemere reference! You don’t get that one either? Here:

And this:

Jessica and I post safari. I was mistaken for a tour guide. I was quite delighted. I guess I do look like a 70s porn star…über professional and there is a certain resemblance to Walt Disney. Maybe it’s just the mustache.

I saw a kitty.

On a roller coaster with Midget. #VeryMaryKate

Trying out soda pops from around the world. Let’s all agree here, the mustache is good. Très Errol Flynn, yes?

Jessica telling a story.

Posing with Marie. Very Mary Kate herself told me, “This is Ben and his sister at Disney World right before they were eaten by a gigantic cat. RIP, you guys…. It’s sad to me that cats refuse to even TRY Mary-Katkins.” I died! I died ecstatically.

Ma and I at tea.

Disney World was lovely, but I much prefer the beach. Will blog about that soon.