Men’s Fashion I Like #6

I can’t wait until I’m rich or have a sugar daddy or somehow acquire an even more fantastical assortment of clothing. Few things in the world delight me more than fashionable outfits. The few things that do are: 1) delightful, soulful buildings from the early 20th Century, 2) yachts, and 3) mountain lions! There have been reports of one of these darling creatures roaming around the area and I couldn’t be more thrilled. I want it tranquilized and brought out here to my farm. I would pay anything to keep it in captivity and train its cubs to be my darling friends. One of my dreams aside from the ones you know (beloved author, BFF of Martha Stewart, cooking show host, world explorer, supermodel, renowned Egyptologist, and scandalized socialite) is to work with big cats. I just love them so much! My soul was crushed today when it was revealed that people had been hysterically reporting a bobcat. The fact that people can’t differentiate between a mountain lion and a bobcat is worrying. What is more worrying is that they aren’t playing at my house. I would give them anything. ANYTHING.

Be still my heart!

I’m very off track. Back to fashion. Here is the latest batch of images that I adored. I want all the clothes.

I’m very passionate about studs. All kinds of studs. *smirk* I want to have studded shoes. I may not prance about in man heels, but I would. You know I would. Also, when did Adam Lambert turn into me? AND WHERE DO I GET A LEOPARD PRINT SHIRT? I’m obsessed. I have leopard print shoes. I want everything leopard. As my darling Diana Vreeland once said:

Ignore the ridiculous sunglasses and focus on this amazing shirt. It needs to be on my body immediately. I googled and googled, but I couldn’t find it. I found versions of it with hideous fonts — nothing like this. LOVE.

SHORT SHORTS! You know how I’m crazy about short shorts, right? I want to wear them everywhere. To work. To the beach. To town. To restaurants. To the library. On a walk. It needs to be more acceptable for men to show off their thighs. It’s a crime that mine are forced into hiding — they’re amazing, probably my best feature if I’m honest with you. Also, these are the arms I want.

Ever since riding one along the California coast, I’ve taken an unexpected interest in scooters. Admittedly, I’ve had this interest for years, (Lizzie McGuire Movie, anyone?), but I’d never been on one. It was such fun! I’m sincerely thinking about saving up for one. I hate driving cars and it’s unreasonable to bicycle to work fifteen miles away each day…so, a scooter might be a good solution. Vespa please! Also, why won’t my hair do this?

I don’t think I was too ugly for LA, let’s be honest, but I love this shirt nonetheless. What I love more is the Louis Vuitton bag. It’s one of my goals to have one in my life. It’s absolutely unnecessary. You can buy a nice duffel bag for pennies, but you don’t feel as elegant and awe-inspiring as you would with a LV, you know? The one I picked out is $1200. I know it’s stupid, but I already know that I’m going to buy it.

Do you know anybody else who looks dashing in a suit jacket in profile? If you said “NO!”, you surely haven’t looked at the sidebar on the right. HARRUMPH.

I don’t care what anybody says: yellow pants are the most beautiful things in the world. I can’t get enough yellow pants. I want every shade of yellow on my legs. YELLOW! These pants are flawless. Why don’t people post sources on fashion blogs? I need them.

I imagine I’d look utterly ridiculous in an ensemble like this, but I’d still attempt it sans the horrible beverage. I need that tank top, too. It’s amazing.

This is another thing my hair won’t do. I don’t like my hair. It fights me every day. I need to have a stylist on salary. I know that it’s not reasonable, but if I could get my hair coiffed professionally every day, I’d be one of the happiest people in all the world.

This shirt makes me feel so many things. Mainly lust. Where do I find such a thing? Is it acceptable to wear a shirt open halfway to your navel? It is for him, obviously. I don’t think I could, but I would. I love crazy prints like this.

Another amazingly kooky printed shirt that needs wrapped around my torso.

I dress like this all the time. It’s always fun to come across images that look as if they stole the look right off my body.

Serving Anna Karenina realness and I’m in love. This is the kind of coat I’ve always dreamed of, aside from a Burberry trench, of course. The velvet, the faux fur, the aristocratic demeanor. #SWOON. Since we’re supposed to have a winter from hell, I’ll need to have a few tropical vacations and this to keep me warm.

I think this look is amazing, but I think I’d lose my mind wearing at least four tops and a tie. My neck needs to breathe! Even when all the Parisian boys were cuffing their jeans, I couldn’t get into it. I did it to fit in on the Métro when I went to school with them all, but I didn’t understand the look. The only reason it exists is if your pants aren’t hemmed appropriately…maybe that’s just me?

Someday I will live in a nautical city…San Francisco?…and I’ll need an entire wardrobe of warm clothes to protect myself against the cool ocean breeze — unless of course my nautical city is in the South of France (and let’s be honest, why wouldn’t it be) where I’d need more short shorts.