Monday:

Why don’t you back up all of your pictures to some online service so that you never lose them? All of mine are currently on Flickr, which is a true convenience. I’m regularly devastated that I no longer have the originals from my 2007 trip to Europe. This is a sad thing for photography since the pictures were really quite good, but I had a fondness for over saturation and blur back then. Le sigh…

Tuesday:

Why don’t you adopt one of those adorable little sugar gliders and carry it everywhere with you? This will be a constant source of delight to everybody, but especially to yourself.

Wednesday:

Why don’t you invest in an expensive piece of couture you’ve been ogling for years? Fill out an application for a new credit card with 0% APR for 12 months and then buy that wonderful Louis Vuitton bag and that glorious Burberry trench — or both. Once I get back from Europe and make a bit of headway into my vacation debt, I’m following this good advice of mine immediately. I must have a Burberry trench for the winter…if I’m still here.

Thursday:

Why don’t you experiment with a fashion that is very unlike anything you’ve ever worn before. I woke up quite late this morning — not really sure why — so I wrapped my disastrous hairdo with a leopard print bandana. It seems to have been well received. The children went wild for it.

Friday:

Why don’t you forage about your lawn for some dandelion greens and make a nice salad? Admittedly, I’ve never done this, but I hear they taste a bit like arugula — a poor man’s arugula surely.